USELESS INFORMATION
WHAT IS USELESS INFORMATION,WELL ITS ALL SORTS OF THINGS ,SUCH AS SAYINGS, LIKE OH GORDON BENNET,OR THATS THE Mc COY, AND HOW MANY EGGS A CHICKEN LAYS A YEAR,YES ITS USELESS INFORMATION TILL YOU NEED IT, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE TO LOOK TO FIND IT TILL NOW.
*****************************************************************
no 1
Well how many eggs can a chicken lay in a year , its between 275 to 290 a year but these are exceptional performances, but the average through the country between 175 to 150 eggs a year ,and this is down to proper feeding and the breed of hen.
***********************************************************
no 2
HOW TO TEST SOIL BEFORE SOWING SEED ON THE FARMS OF YESTERYEAR In the days of yesteryear before thermometers were invented farmers had to test the land
To see if it was warm enough for sowing seeds , so when the time was right ,
The farmer went to the middle of the field and duly let his trouses down , and sat on the earth with his bare bottom ,
If it felt warm ,that was the time to sow the seed .
Just like a woman putting her elbow in to a bath ,before she put the baby in ,makes sense don't it.
***********************************************************
no 3 WHY DO GOTHHIC CHURCHES HAVE TALL SPIRES.
The lofty spire of the Gothic church or Cathedral is the most striking embodiment of the spirit of religious exaltation ,
This architecture is produced principally for the people to gaze and the thoughts of the beholder to look heavenwards to the point for aspiration to God ,
The naming of one or two , Salisbury, Norwich, that's the tallest 404 feet high , they are of early English architecture.
**********************************************************
no 4
THE REAL Mc COY WHO WAS HE.
Well the name of this young man is Norman Selby a boxer ,born in Rush County Indiana , on October 13- 1873 in 1891 that's when his boxing career began .
So at this point he changed his name as most boxers were Irish, and were popular in the U,S,A,at that time , so he became Charles Kid Mc MOY ,
This opened a lot of doors , he went on to win world welterweight, then middleweight, lightweight ,and on to heavyweight, now at his height of his success
A middleweight came along by the name of AL McCOY ,but he billed him self as the Real McCOY ,so from then on , hence the words THE REAL McCOY , meaning the real thing.
*******************************************************
no 5
THERE,S A LOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THIS.
Under the Public Libraries Acts of 1892 - 1901 .
Library authorities have the legal right to pass many and varied by-laws.
But says a barrister-at-law, by little-known over site library authorities do not have the specific power.
To claim fines from people returning overdue books.
*************************************************************
no 6
ARE WE ALL HEATHEN,S , WELL WE MUST BE .
Mistletoe for decoration at christmas is well known through out the country , to be kissed under the mistletoe.
Well I can tell you its pagan rites ,and a sacred plant to the Druids .
It has nothing whatever to do riligiously with christmas.
***********************************************************
no 7
IS THERE A BRIDGE ONER THE ATLANTIC.
YES of cause there is near OBAN SCOTLAND it crosses a narrow strip of water ,between SEIL ISLAND and the MAIN LAND .
The water that flows under it is part of the Atlantic so there you know now .
***********************************************************
no 8
WHO WAS GORDON BENNETT.
James Gordon Bennett was born in New York ,May 10th 1841 his father was a Scottish immigrant, and owned the New York Herald, he died 1872 and Gordon took it over ,and changed it to his own taste , it became a notable paper , he financed Stanley to Africa to search for Dr Livingstone .
He was a keen sportsman but got into financial troubles, but opened free kitchens for the poor, but Bennett's behaviour was always a source consternation to his companions .
I have just been told by a MR Richard Trowbridge, that Gorden Bennett, also loved Motor Racing, so he gave a cup in honour to the sport, THE GORDEN BENNETT CUP,? thanks Richard.
His paper was on the wane , he fell out with the staff, and he arrived at his fiancee party drunk , then unbuttoned his fly's and urinated into the blazing fire , Bennett was thrown out onto the street , next day Carolines brother horse whipped him, he was bard from all respectable homes .
He came to France and arrived at a restaurant without booking a table , this annoyed Bennett , so he sought the owner , bought the restaurant on the spot for a million francs , then ordered a table to be cleared ,and sat down to his favourite mutton chops.
After the meal he gave the deeds of the restaurant to the waiter telling him that there must be a table ready for Gordon Bennett and mutton chops on the menu , no wonder we say .
GORDON BENNETT .
************************************************************
NO 9 GREEN SLEEVES
Green Sleeves did old Henry V111, write it ,and what year nobody knows ,it is generally stated that Henry did write it .
But when and if it is a bit of a mystery .
It is said he wrote it in despair at a lady's refusal of his favours.
This probably saved her neck for her refusal .
************************************************************
NO 10 DEEPEST WATER.
According to Admiralty Oceanographic Survey Section.
The deepest is over 35,000 feet deep in the Mariana Trench in the Pacific.
************************************************************
NO 11 SWANS SONG.
Do all the swans in the country belong to the Crown no.
The crown the Dyers company between them own the swans on the Thames only.
The Dyers swans have one nick on their beaks and the Vintners have two nicks .
***********************************************************
NO 12 LONGEST NAMES OF TOWNS.
Yes this one comes up regularly in conversation , the old favorite, well it all started as a joke at first .
In the beginning it was LIanfair,P,G,standing for Pwhgwygyii.
The Railways came along and the name this was in a joke ,and they fell for it , so the station was duly named.
LLAN-FAIR-PWLL-GWYN-GYLL-GOGER-Y-CHWYRN-OROBWLL-LLAM-TYSIUOO-OSO-GOCK. say that after 8 pints of best beer .
************************************************************
NO 13 COIN A FRAZE
The 1849 two shilling piece was known as the Godless Florin. after it was circulated it was that the Latin words were missing De Gratia(by the grace of god) had been omitted.
************************************************************
NO 14 WHISKERS
Who was called Electric Whiskers, it was a Ital ion Commander.
In WW11 General Bergonzoli
**************************************************************
NO 15 VOTE.
Was England first to give women the vote , no it was Finland 1905.
************************************************************
NO 16 JEHOVAH
How many times do it ac-cure in the Bible 6,855 times.
***********************************************************
NO 17 QUEENS
How old are the liners QUEEN MARY AND QUEEN ELIZABETH.
Queen Mary built in 1936 , QUEEN ELIZABETH built 1940.
***********************************************************
NO 18 RAID.
When did the first 1,000 bomber raid take place .
It was Cologne and it was actually 1,046 aircraft took part May 30 - 1942.
And a total of 1,455 tons of bombs dropped that night .
The biggest before that was 228 aircraft .
************************************************************
NO 19 GRASS WIDOWS
Why the name grass widow ,well it all started in India among the British Army Officers in the very hot season in India the Officers sent their wives to the foot hills of the North West Frontier , where it was cooler and grassy sloops that were cool like England .
It meant a wife was separated from her Husband , hence grass widow.
That term also went for many wives when their husbands were working away from home.
*************************************************************
NO 20 CHOO - CHOO
Is there really such a name as Chattanooga ,yes in Tennessee U,S,A, .
*************************************************************
NO 21 WHY ARE ASSASSINS SO CALLED ,IT COMES FROM THE MUSLIMS
The murderers or so called assassins comes from a Muslim Sect that started in 1090 AD, in Persia ,it was founded by Hassanibn Al - Sabbah and pledged thenselves to murder who did not believe in their religion .
The word assassin comes from the Arab Hashishi or hashish eater , because the killers were taking hashish to give estatic visions of paradise before setting out on a mission which might well end in their own deaths.
Their regime was directed against a Turkish family who invaded western Asia and founded a powerful Empire , they seized castles , and waged war against the Crusaders, they murdered Conrad De Montferrat who had been made King of Jerusalem.
These break away Muslims are called Shiite Muslims and are still very powerful today they have large followers in Syria, Iran and Pakistan , and in some places known as Khojas, today they owe allegiance to the Aga Khan as their spiritual leader , some are called Nizari Isma iIi Sect , but the main body are Shiite Mohammed's that just kill people , just because other people prefer to worship in another way , and live a different life style of freedom for all, and men and women are equals in life,and have all the same rights .
It would be nice to think that all the country's of the would unite and ban these extremists , and we could live in peace again ,instead looking over your shoulder in case some fanatic is blowing himself up.
***********************************************************
No 22. WHO WAS POCAHONTAS.
Pocahontas was a north American Indian Princess, who saved the life of Captain John Smith, who was due to be put to death by the tribe, she pleaded with her father the Chief, but in April 1613 at the age of 18 she was kidnapped by settlers, she became a Christian and was baptised with the name Rebecca, In 1616 she married John Rolfe, who brought her to England and in London she was very much admired at Balls and Parties, then he took her to Heacham,(norfolk)where they settled, and in Heacham Church there is a plque to her memory, and also booklets. She had a son, but as she was on a return visit to her native Virginia she got a bug and died at Gravesend, but her son went back and settled in Virginia.
***********************************************************
No 23. WHAT AND WHERE IS GOLGOTHA.
Well Golgotha is outside the walls of Jerusalem in Israel a place where Jesus was crucified, Jesus was brought before the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate for blasphemy, but could find anything to support the charge, but chief priests and elders demanded his death, so the Roman Soldiers beat him and dressed him in a scarlet cloak with a crown of thorns to mock him as King of the Jews. Afterwards he was forced to carry his own cross through the streets of Jerusalem to Golgotha, now the Golgotha meaning the place of a skull, this is taken from the Aramaic language spoken in that part of Palestine, the word Calvary comes from Calvaria, which in Latin translation Golgotha, no one really knows why its called that, but ancient story's say Adams skull was buried there, well you believe what you want its your choice, as for me yes l have visted the sites in 1946-1948 and again 30 years later with the wife, all l will say is that someone is making a lot of money out of these tours.
**************************************************************
No 24. I CAN PROVE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER WORKED IN THEIR LIVES.
Lets make it easy we will go a leap year its round figures 366 days, l can hear you saying you don't what you are saying.
Well here goes to prove you have never worked, 366 days in a leap year, the old saying, you work 8 hours, play 8 hours, sleep 8 hours this is an average day across the board. Well if you sleep 8 hours, and play 8 hours meaning free time, so for two thirds of the day you do not work , now take that over the year two thirds of a year you don';t work 366 take away 244 days which is two thirds that leaves 122 days to work are but you don't because the average person has two days off each week either sat and sun or in the week depends on your job so now we have got to deduct 104 days that you don't work that leaves 18 days , are but you have not had a holiday yet so 14 days holiday that leaves 4 days bank holidays take care of the rest so you have not worked you lazy man you .
*************************************************************
No 25, WHAT IS THE SWASTIKA.
Well the old swastika was about long before old Hitler used it as the German Nazi emplemn, people thought he was the first .
Well old Adolf Hitler was way behind, it was the Sumerian Seals in 2850 BC, it represented the sun, it was also on Assyrian and Persian coins, and it is connected with Heraldry of Japan. In India religion is connected to it, in Northern Europe it represents the Hammer of Thor, and is shown on a number of Christian monuments. Hitler used this sign for the Nazi party and the raising of the right arm as a Salute is not a Nazi innovation, but the American Indians , used it who got it from the Aztecs of Mexico it was a wecome sign. So our Adolph Hitler pinched it and used it for his own Nazi Party, now you know.
************************************************************
No 26, WHAT METAL THAT YOU CAN NOT PICK UP IN YOUR HANDS.
Its the only liquid metal in the world, and named after the God Mercury, known to most people as Quicksilver, in a wide range of temperatures it keeps the same in liquid form, used mainly in thermometers, and temperature gauges, it give a very accurate display, and is also used to make mirrows by applying it to the suface of glass. try picking it up with finger and thumb .
no 1
Well how many eggs can a chicken lay in a year , its between 275 to 290 a year but these are exceptional performances, but the average through the country between 175 to 150 eggs a year ,and this is down to proper feeding and the breed of hen.
***********************************************************
no 2
HOW TO TEST SOIL BEFORE SOWING SEED ON THE FARMS OF YESTERYEAR In the days of yesteryear before thermometers were invented farmers had to test the land
To see if it was warm enough for sowing seeds , so when the time was right ,
The farmer went to the middle of the field and duly let his trouses down , and sat on the earth with his bare bottom ,
If it felt warm ,that was the time to sow the seed .
Just like a woman putting her elbow in to a bath ,before she put the baby in ,makes sense don't it.
***********************************************************
no 3 WHY DO GOTHHIC CHURCHES HAVE TALL SPIRES.
The lofty spire of the Gothic church or Cathedral is the most striking embodiment of the spirit of religious exaltation ,
This architecture is produced principally for the people to gaze and the thoughts of the beholder to look heavenwards to the point for aspiration to God ,
The naming of one or two , Salisbury, Norwich, that's the tallest 404 feet high , they are of early English architecture.
**********************************************************
no 4
THE REAL Mc COY WHO WAS HE.
Well the name of this young man is Norman Selby a boxer ,born in Rush County Indiana , on October 13- 1873 in 1891 that's when his boxing career began .
So at this point he changed his name as most boxers were Irish, and were popular in the U,S,A,at that time , so he became Charles Kid Mc MOY ,
This opened a lot of doors , he went on to win world welterweight, then middleweight, lightweight ,and on to heavyweight, now at his height of his success
A middleweight came along by the name of AL McCOY ,but he billed him self as the Real McCOY ,so from then on , hence the words THE REAL McCOY , meaning the real thing.
*******************************************************
no 5
THERE,S A LOT OF PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW THIS.
Under the Public Libraries Acts of 1892 - 1901 .
Library authorities have the legal right to pass many and varied by-laws.
But says a barrister-at-law, by little-known over site library authorities do not have the specific power.
To claim fines from people returning overdue books.
*************************************************************
no 6
ARE WE ALL HEATHEN,S , WELL WE MUST BE .
Mistletoe for decoration at christmas is well known through out the country , to be kissed under the mistletoe.
Well I can tell you its pagan rites ,and a sacred plant to the Druids .
It has nothing whatever to do riligiously with christmas.
***********************************************************
no 7
IS THERE A BRIDGE ONER THE ATLANTIC.
YES of cause there is near OBAN SCOTLAND it crosses a narrow strip of water ,between SEIL ISLAND and the MAIN LAND .
The water that flows under it is part of the Atlantic so there you know now .
***********************************************************
no 8
WHO WAS GORDON BENNETT.
James Gordon Bennett was born in New York ,May 10th 1841 his father was a Scottish immigrant, and owned the New York Herald, he died 1872 and Gordon took it over ,and changed it to his own taste , it became a notable paper , he financed Stanley to Africa to search for Dr Livingstone .
He was a keen sportsman but got into financial troubles, but opened free kitchens for the poor, but Bennett's behaviour was always a source consternation to his companions .
I have just been told by a MR Richard Trowbridge, that Gorden Bennett, also loved Motor Racing, so he gave a cup in honour to the sport, THE GORDEN BENNETT CUP,? thanks Richard.
His paper was on the wane , he fell out with the staff, and he arrived at his fiancee party drunk , then unbuttoned his fly's and urinated into the blazing fire , Bennett was thrown out onto the street , next day Carolines brother horse whipped him, he was bard from all respectable homes .
He came to France and arrived at a restaurant without booking a table , this annoyed Bennett , so he sought the owner , bought the restaurant on the spot for a million francs , then ordered a table to be cleared ,and sat down to his favourite mutton chops.
After the meal he gave the deeds of the restaurant to the waiter telling him that there must be a table ready for Gordon Bennett and mutton chops on the menu , no wonder we say .
GORDON BENNETT .
************************************************************
NO 9 GREEN SLEEVES
Green Sleeves did old Henry V111, write it ,and what year nobody knows ,it is generally stated that Henry did write it .
But when and if it is a bit of a mystery .
It is said he wrote it in despair at a lady's refusal of his favours.
This probably saved her neck for her refusal .
************************************************************
NO 10 DEEPEST WATER.
According to Admiralty Oceanographic Survey Section.
The deepest is over 35,000 feet deep in the Mariana Trench in the Pacific.
************************************************************
NO 11 SWANS SONG.
Do all the swans in the country belong to the Crown no.
The crown the Dyers company between them own the swans on the Thames only.
The Dyers swans have one nick on their beaks and the Vintners have two nicks .
***********************************************************
NO 12 LONGEST NAMES OF TOWNS.
Yes this one comes up regularly in conversation , the old favorite, well it all started as a joke at first .
In the beginning it was LIanfair,P,G,standing for Pwhgwygyii.
The Railways came along and the name this was in a joke ,and they fell for it , so the station was duly named.
LLAN-FAIR-PWLL-GWYN-GYLL-GOGER-Y-CHWYRN-OROBWLL-LLAM-TYSIUOO-OSO-GOCK. say that after 8 pints of best beer .
************************************************************
NO 13 COIN A FRAZE
The 1849 two shilling piece was known as the Godless Florin. after it was circulated it was that the Latin words were missing De Gratia(by the grace of god) had been omitted.
************************************************************
NO 14 WHISKERS
Who was called Electric Whiskers, it was a Ital ion Commander.
In WW11 General Bergonzoli
**************************************************************
NO 15 VOTE.
Was England first to give women the vote , no it was Finland 1905.
************************************************************
NO 16 JEHOVAH
How many times do it ac-cure in the Bible 6,855 times.
***********************************************************
NO 17 QUEENS
How old are the liners QUEEN MARY AND QUEEN ELIZABETH.
Queen Mary built in 1936 , QUEEN ELIZABETH built 1940.
***********************************************************
NO 18 RAID.
When did the first 1,000 bomber raid take place .
It was Cologne and it was actually 1,046 aircraft took part May 30 - 1942.
And a total of 1,455 tons of bombs dropped that night .
The biggest before that was 228 aircraft .
************************************************************
NO 19 GRASS WIDOWS
Why the name grass widow ,well it all started in India among the British Army Officers in the very hot season in India the Officers sent their wives to the foot hills of the North West Frontier , where it was cooler and grassy sloops that were cool like England .
It meant a wife was separated from her Husband , hence grass widow.
That term also went for many wives when their husbands were working away from home.
*************************************************************
NO 20 CHOO - CHOO
Is there really such a name as Chattanooga ,yes in Tennessee U,S,A, .
*************************************************************
NO 21 WHY ARE ASSASSINS SO CALLED ,IT COMES FROM THE MUSLIMS
The murderers or so called assassins comes from a Muslim Sect that started in 1090 AD, in Persia ,it was founded by Hassanibn Al - Sabbah and pledged thenselves to murder who did not believe in their religion .
The word assassin comes from the Arab Hashishi or hashish eater , because the killers were taking hashish to give estatic visions of paradise before setting out on a mission which might well end in their own deaths.
Their regime was directed against a Turkish family who invaded western Asia and founded a powerful Empire , they seized castles , and waged war against the Crusaders, they murdered Conrad De Montferrat who had been made King of Jerusalem.
These break away Muslims are called Shiite Muslims and are still very powerful today they have large followers in Syria, Iran and Pakistan , and in some places known as Khojas, today they owe allegiance to the Aga Khan as their spiritual leader , some are called Nizari Isma iIi Sect , but the main body are Shiite Mohammed's that just kill people , just because other people prefer to worship in another way , and live a different life style of freedom for all, and men and women are equals in life,and have all the same rights .
It would be nice to think that all the country's of the would unite and ban these extremists , and we could live in peace again ,instead looking over your shoulder in case some fanatic is blowing himself up.
***********************************************************
No 22. WHO WAS POCAHONTAS.
Pocahontas was a north American Indian Princess, who saved the life of Captain John Smith, who was due to be put to death by the tribe, she pleaded with her father the Chief, but in April 1613 at the age of 18 she was kidnapped by settlers, she became a Christian and was baptised with the name Rebecca, In 1616 she married John Rolfe, who brought her to England and in London she was very much admired at Balls and Parties, then he took her to Heacham,(norfolk)where they settled, and in Heacham Church there is a plque to her memory, and also booklets. She had a son, but as she was on a return visit to her native Virginia she got a bug and died at Gravesend, but her son went back and settled in Virginia.
***********************************************************
No 23. WHAT AND WHERE IS GOLGOTHA.
Well Golgotha is outside the walls of Jerusalem in Israel a place where Jesus was crucified, Jesus was brought before the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate for blasphemy, but could find anything to support the charge, but chief priests and elders demanded his death, so the Roman Soldiers beat him and dressed him in a scarlet cloak with a crown of thorns to mock him as King of the Jews. Afterwards he was forced to carry his own cross through the streets of Jerusalem to Golgotha, now the Golgotha meaning the place of a skull, this is taken from the Aramaic language spoken in that part of Palestine, the word Calvary comes from Calvaria, which in Latin translation Golgotha, no one really knows why its called that, but ancient story's say Adams skull was buried there, well you believe what you want its your choice, as for me yes l have visted the sites in 1946-1948 and again 30 years later with the wife, all l will say is that someone is making a lot of money out of these tours.
**************************************************************
No 24. I CAN PROVE THAT NO ONE HAS EVER WORKED IN THEIR LIVES.
Lets make it easy we will go a leap year its round figures 366 days, l can hear you saying you don't what you are saying.
Well here goes to prove you have never worked, 366 days in a leap year, the old saying, you work 8 hours, play 8 hours, sleep 8 hours this is an average day across the board. Well if you sleep 8 hours, and play 8 hours meaning free time, so for two thirds of the day you do not work , now take that over the year two thirds of a year you don';t work 366 take away 244 days which is two thirds that leaves 122 days to work are but you don't because the average person has two days off each week either sat and sun or in the week depends on your job so now we have got to deduct 104 days that you don't work that leaves 18 days , are but you have not had a holiday yet so 14 days holiday that leaves 4 days bank holidays take care of the rest so you have not worked you lazy man you .
*************************************************************
No 25, WHAT IS THE SWASTIKA.
Well the old swastika was about long before old Hitler used it as the German Nazi emplemn, people thought he was the first .
Well old Adolf Hitler was way behind, it was the Sumerian Seals in 2850 BC, it represented the sun, it was also on Assyrian and Persian coins, and it is connected with Heraldry of Japan. In India religion is connected to it, in Northern Europe it represents the Hammer of Thor, and is shown on a number of Christian monuments. Hitler used this sign for the Nazi party and the raising of the right arm as a Salute is not a Nazi innovation, but the American Indians , used it who got it from the Aztecs of Mexico it was a wecome sign. So our Adolph Hitler pinched it and used it for his own Nazi Party, now you know.
************************************************************
No 26, WHAT METAL THAT YOU CAN NOT PICK UP IN YOUR HANDS.
Its the only liquid metal in the world, and named after the God Mercury, known to most people as Quicksilver, in a wide range of temperatures it keeps the same in liquid form, used mainly in thermometers, and temperature gauges, it give a very accurate display, and is also used to make mirrows by applying it to the suface of glass. try picking it up with finger and thumb .
***********************************************************
No 27, WHY DO THE AUSTRALIANS CALL THE BRITISH POHMs.
Well it all started in 1840, when the first convicts were deported to Australia, as they were unwanted citizens, such as theives, prostitutes, and general thugs. The first to go were shipped on the Hashemy, they were stopped from landing at Melbourne, they moved on to Sidney, big out cry there no landing so they moved to Brisbane where they landed as the farmers needed cheep labour,on their sheep farms, so thats where they settle, and as they were prisoners of the british government, and Dear old Victoria was queen at the time, so as Prisoners Of Her Majesty, shortened to, P,O,H,M, POHM. NOW you now we are still called pohms, it all stopped in 1849.
*************************************************************
No 28 .WHY IS THE SKY BLUE.
The rays of the Sun in striking the earth's atmosphere, there are scattered countless specks that fill the air, the blue specks are scattered farther than the red, thus the blue sky, if the air was free of particles of dust, the sky would be dark relieved only by the brightness of the Sun and moon and stars, which would then always be visible.
***********************************************************
No 29 . WHEN DID MATCHES BECOME TO PRACTICAL USE.
In 1827 AD by John Walker an English Chemist, they were sold in tin boxes of fifty, they were not called matches, but were called Lucifer's they sold at the time for two-shillings and sixpence a box but later reduced to a shilling a box but still a lot of money in those days, now we have throw away lighters for give away prices how times change.
***********************************************************
No 30, CAN MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH BECOME MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT
Priests, and people of Holy Orders are not allowed to sit in the House OF Commons as parliament representatives for a constituency to represent the people, but they can if they are Archbishops or Bishops, sit the House of Lords chamber, they become, The Lords Spiritual of the Realm, other wise no they can not become M,P,s
************************************************************
No 31. WHAT ARE "FLYING FLIES" .
They are those curious little floating images which everybody sees before their eyes at sometime or other, and for which the Medical Term is Musce Volantes, (latin for "Flying flies"). They are caused by the presence in the body of the eye of minute opaque particles, in the shape of spots or straight, looped or twisted fibres, which cast their shadows, greatly magnified, upon the retina . The mind projects these images into space, that we appear to see them floating in the air when we look at brightly lighted surface.
NOW WE KNOW, ITS NOT GHOSTS WE ARE SEEING, BUT LITTLE BITS OF FAIRY DUST IN YOUR EYES THAT YOU HAVEN'T WASHED OUT.
***********************************************************
No 32. THE LIVEING IN BRITAIN 5,000 YEARS AGO, THE FOOD AND THE ICEAGE TO PRESENT DAY, NOTHING TO DISTROY THE OZOON LAYER THEN, SO WHY DID THE ICE MELT, AS AT THAT TIME ABOUT 20 FEET THICK.
Well our ancestors of the iceage time lived by trial and error, for the primitive man, eating could be as dangerous as hunting . An eye catching berry, or an aromatic mushroom might be nutritous or lethal, if he died it was his survivors who gained the benefit, but wild animals were in abundance, the skins were used as cloths. The Britains were liveing in settlements now, and started to live in an orderly manner, with a trbe Elder, or King, and some Tribes a Queen, also the worshipping of Gods had started. The gulf stream at this point was making an impact on Britain, ice was melting fast and the break through of the channel, so now we are no longer part of Europe, 20 miles of water, and the ice melted till it was bare land all over, then everything multiplied very rapid. People of today are blaming the climate change now on to Motor Car and other things that put smoke into the sky, well it was'nt cars then, so why blame them now, its just another faise of the world that is going on, for millions of years its happened so why should it stop now, perhaps in a thousand years this will be all ice again.
************************************************************
No 33, DIGGING HOLES.
If it takes a man all day to dig a hole, how long will it take him to dig a half a hole. Answer, Theres no such thing as a half a hole, because a hole is a hole no matter what size, so it is impossible to dig a half a hole.
************************************************************
No 34, WHERE WOULD YOU FIND THE GARDEN OF EDEN?.
Well the short answer, you will not find it, the garden is totally mythical, God is supposed to have created a garden for Adam, the first man. It thought to be between the Rivers Tigris and Euphrates in Messopotamian region, now Iraqi. The tree of knowledge grew in this garden and it was there that man fell from grace in Gods eyes because Eve prompted Adam with the fruit from this tree and ate the fruit, this was all done by the backing of the Serpent this tree was supposed to be the tree of life, but from that day God devised three punishments to human beings.
One, was that man will till the earth for food.
Two, woman was to suffer pain in child birth.
Three, serpents or snakes, would be from that day, be hated by mankind.
The moral to this story is that man chose knowledge and death, rather than ignorance and eternal life.
************************************************************
No 35, THE MEASUREMENT OF THE YARD.
Well in the old days to measure a yard in length, was quite a too-doo, now once a year as people came out of Church the first three men were asked to step a yard, and the average between the three, was the yard for that village for the year. This happened all over the country, so each village and town were different, until the national measurement was introduced, there is one on a monument in london, but the most important one is in the sience museum in london, and kept at a certain temp;, all year round, that's where all measurements are taken from.
***********************************************************
No 36. WHAT IS HARA KIRI.
Hara-Kiri means belly-cutting a type of suicide with the Samurai warriors who was defeated in battle dated back to the 12th century, but was used a lot in WW11, if captured, so all Jappanese prisoners had to be watched closely. The Jappanese that were on trial at Changi Jail and sentenced to be hung for war crimes, as hanging was a dishonourable death, there were a few that nearly made it, and its not a pretty site, a man with all his intestines hanging out, but as the Emperor was a God they did it for him, but surgeons stitched them all back again, and they hung in the breeze with the rest, for their crimes against humanity to our prisoners of war.
***********************************************************
No 37, SPELL CHECKER A BIT OF FUN,
MY SPELLING CHECKER.
*****************
eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea.
it plainly marques for my revue, miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
eye strick a key and type a word, and weight four it twoi say.
weather eye am wrong oar write, it shows me strait a weigh.
as soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose bee fore two long.
and l can put the error rite its rare lea ever wrong.
eye have run this poem threw it l am shore yore pleased too no.
its letter perfect all the weigh my chequer tolled me sew.
**********************************************************
No 38 . SLAVERY OF THE WORLD .
Slavery goes back to the Egyptians, remember Mosses and his tribe were slaves, they had to build the Great Palaces, and Pyramids, the Romans had Slaves, remember Spartacus, he caused a revolt and released hundreds of slaves, but in the end was caught and all his followers sixthousand of them, and all were crucified BC 73-71. The Portuguese began the slave trade AD.1440 but it reached its height under the English, who shipped vast numbers of Africans to America and the Colonies, more than seven million were transported from Africa, to a life of misery. This also changed the population of the Americas, Brazil population became half African. Slave ships were in their hay day in 1701-1810, onemillion died from suffocation on the ships, it took ten weeks to get to the Americas, so most of the time the Slaves were chained, to stop them jumping over board, and they were branded like cattle. British in 1833 abolished all slave trade, but the people who were slave traders made big fortunes out of it and some of the so called gentry of today are still multimillionaires through the past of selling human life, it wasn't till 1948 the United Nation made a declaration of human rights that prohibits slavery and the trade in slaves. I have never seen anyone of those so called gentry offering to hand some of that money back to develope the country's that they took the slaves from, or is that asking too much, so the next time you see, a name come on the TV, or in the papers, with Lord, or Vicount,and Duke, he could well be liveing on money from slaves. ?
*************************************************************
No 39 . WHO WAS MATA HARI .
First of all the words Mata Hari is of oriental meaning, the eye of the day, her real name was, Margaretha Geertruida Zella, a Dutch dancer. She was born in 1876 and married to a Dutch Army Officer, named Macleod, but after a few years she sought fame and fortune, to become a courtesan and oriental dancer in Paris, she adopted the name Mata Hari, in 1907 she joined the German Secret Service and during World War 1, she betrayed many secrets that had been given to her by French Officers who had fallen for her love, in 1917 she was arrested convicted of treason found guilty and executed by firing squad, so from then on a traitor was a Mata Hari. now you know. **********************************************************
No 40 . WHY DO WOMEN WEAR HATS IN CHURCH.
Because St Paul, said (1 Corinthians X1, ) Every woman that prayeth or propheieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head. Another bit of Catholic codswallop, then they wounder why people don't go to church, dose it make any different if a womans head is covered or not, so long as she is in church, and want to be there.
************************************************************
No 41 . BY JINGO, HOW DID IT COME IN TO BEING.
Well in AD, 200 , the Japanese invaded Korea, led by a woman, who at the time was Empress Jingo on the Throne, and she led the forces, but the Koreans just gave up at her appearance on the field of battle, yes she did occupy the throne at this time, but the English expression, ( BY JINGO ) Highly Doubtful, that she was ever in Korea, yes the Japanese did rule them.
************************************************************
No 42 , WHY IS THE RED SEA RED.
Because the millions of microscopic Algae that float on the surface which are reddish in colour, and in other parts of the Globe minute organisms give stretches of the Oceans a white, yellow, orange, or a brown hue, that's what give the seas different colours, little living microisms that float on the surface. ANOTHER BIT OF USELESS IMFORMATION.
*************************************************************
No 43 . WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.
1,= PAPER. 2.= COTTON. 3,= LEATHER. 4,= FRUIT/FLOWER. 5,=WOOD 6,= SUGAR. 7, = WOOL. 8,= BRONZE. 9, =POTTERY. 10,= TIN. 11, =STEEL. 12, =SILK/LINEN. 13, = LACE. 14, = IVORY. 15, =CRYSTAL. 20, =CHINA. 25, =SILVER. 30,= PEARL. 35,= CORAL. 40,= RUBY . 45, = SAFFHIRE. 50, = GOLD. 55,= EMERALD. 60,= DIAMOND.
*************************************************************
No 44 , TREE SUPERSTITIONS.
If the Ash leaves come before the Oak there will be a splash,(light rain)but if the Oak leaves come before the Ash there will be a soak (down pour of rain ).
**********************************************************
No 45, WHY DO WE SHAKE HANDS ON MEETING.
It started as a way of peace and friendship, then to clinch an agreement or a business deal, by shaking hands on it, was part of the Roman marriage ceremony, also with the Hindus the clasping of hands.
************************************************************
No 46, WHAT DOES GOODBYE MEAN.
Goodbye is stortened of words, God be with you, as God became Good, like Gods Morning, to Good Morning, same for evening, and day, instead of God, we put Good.
*************************************************************
No 47, WHAT CITY IS CARVED OUT OF LIVING ROCK.
It is the City of Petra in the transjordania area, this is in the middle of rock formation which makes a rough circle in the middle, with a very small entrance between two rock faces, there are dwellings, tombs, temples, and store houses all hewn out of the solid rock faces, and if you are lucky to be there when the sun hits it in a certain position it takes on a pinkie hue in colour, l have been lucky to have been there.
************************************************************
No 48, THE TEARM GIVING SOMEONE THE COLD SHOULDER.
The earliest references to this is in the 19th century, it was for unwanted guests or someone who had stayed too long, people who were invited to dinner got a hot and tasty dinner, others who were not invited or over stayed their wecome, got cold dinner of shoulder of mutton, or shoulder of beef, other wise given unwanted guests a cold shoulder.
**********************************************************
No 49 OFF THE CUFF.
This came in to being in thirties of after dinner speakers, a person at a dinner party would be asked to make a speach during dinner, so while eating his dinner made notes on his starched shirt cuffs, so when he got up to speak he had his prompt on his cuffs, so the saying became, its off the cuff.
*************************************************************
No 50, TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF SOMEONE.
Well to beat the living daylights out of someone was in the mid 18th century, in was to do with bare nuckle fighting or boxing. The tearm meening to close the other persons eyes so he could not see to box, other wise beating the living day lights out of him, so he could not see day light, but in the 19th century this became a saying to give a person a good hiding for something he had done wrong.
************************************************************
NO 51, THIS HAS JUST COME TO MY NOTICE.SUN RISE AND SUN SET AT HEACHAM?????
Talking to a local person down at Heacham, in the Walsh, well according to him that is the only place in the England that the Sun rises, and sets on the sea, now l have never seen this but to him its a well known fact, so anyone out there knows this is not true and why like to hear from you , EDDIE,.
I can now reveal the truth about the Sun rise and Sun set over Heacham, well it don't not according to weather experts, yes the Sun Sets at Heacham but the Sun Rises at Yarmouth over the sea, and sets over the sea at Heacham another bit of useless imformation, this is from , [email protected] weather dept. But East Anglia can say we are the only county that the Sun Rises and Sun Sets over the Sea, rises at yarmouth, sets at heacham.
************************************************************
NO 52, WEATHER FORCAST YEARS AGO
Weather forcast before radio, television, and telephones, this is for two months of any year, march first, a farmer would count the days and date of that month that there was a fog, he would then write on his calendar in the month of april the same days that there was a fog, and he new that on those days nine times out of ten there would be a frost so could cover up his plants, weather forcast of long ago.
***********************************************************
NO 53, CHURCHILLS QUOTE TO OUR FIGHTER PILOTS, BATTLE OF BRITAIN.
He never said this frase, Never in the caurse of human conflict have so many owed so much to so few.
What he did say is,; Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
**********************************************************
NO 54, 1945 DID UNEMPLOYMENT VANISH.
In 1945 the british people elected a labour goverment, as they said unemployment would vanish , well the real truth is that unemployment never vanishes under any goverment, so why say it in the first place.
*********************************************************
NO 55. CHARLES 11,
It has always been said that Charles 11, was brought back from France, sorry its wrong, ha was brought back from Holland.
**********************************************************
NO 56, BRITAIN THE WEALTHIEST INDUSTRIAL COUNTRY FOR 150 YEARS
Well l can assure you that britain was not the wealthiest country in the world for her industrial know how for 150 years, it was more like 50 years only.
************************************************************
57, CANALS OF ENGLAND.
In 1780s it was said that the canals were dug by the immigrant irish labour, well true fscts it was mainly dug by navvie's from all over england, but with some irish labour that had come over.Why don't people tell the truth for a start, and it would make life a lot easyer.
**********************************************************
NO 58, RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD IN ORDER OF FOUNDING.
JUDAISM, HEBREW, Was founded by Abraham 2000, BC this as far as I can find out is the oldest religion in the world to make a stable tribe to live together, it works,
HINDUISM, FOUNDED 1500 BC, This is the largest relgion in India, it worship many things, but it keeps people in harmany with each other.
CONFUCIANISN, 551,BC, IT WAS A RELIGION OF THOUGHT, but its not in very much strenght now,
JAINISM, FOUNDED 540 BC, THESE are strict vegetarians of Buddhist like ways.
BUDDHISM, 500 BC , RELIGION is the none agressife way of life no one has the right to kill each other or any animal or insect,
CHRISTIANITY, FOUNDED 100 AD, AND IN ENGLAND 400 AD WHEN IT FINANLY STARTED,this spread right across the world in the name of Catholic teachings of a better life, but it cost poor people a hard life, untill Henry V111, came along and made the Chruch of England which was more liberal to the people,
ISLAM, OR MOHAMMEDISM, FOUNDED 570 AD,TO 622 AD, THIS religion has caused a lot of up heaval in the world as it makes women secound class to the men folk, and must never uncover their faces for another man to see them, what ever made a man sit down and write a that into a way of life, he must have been out of his mind and thats the only religion that impose this on women , the Muslem women have no human rights at all,
SHINTOISM, JAPANESE WAY OF LIFE , founded 800 AD , ITS A CULT religion , of very harsh ways , live by the sword , die by the sword,
SIKHISM, FOUNDED 1539 AD, A VERY YOUNG RELIGION they are not allowed to cut their hair or shave their faces , its a worrior type of religion,
***********************************************************
NO 59, EVE'S DROPPING
The words eve's dropping how did that start, well way back before guttering was put around houses to catch the water and channel it into water butts and tubs, in the days of old houses were built with a large over hang on the roofs, anything up to two feet wide or more, to shoot the water nearly into the middle of the street, so when it rained people would stand under the roof eve's till it stopped, and most times they could hear the people talking in side the houses, and listening to what they were saying, hence EVE's DROPPING.
***********************************************************
NO 60, WHY HAS SOME COUNTIES GOT SHIRE AT THE END, AND OTHERS DO NOT. Shires at the end of a county, well this all started in Anglo- Saxon times, there was appionted Sheriff to each county, and it came shireriff, or short, Shire , now likes of Cambridge, with a shire, hence cambridgeshire, and so on right through England. The High Shirrif or the shires head man had rights to a man hanged or sent to prison, or even release prisoners, he had this right in line with the King or queen of that time, now for the likes of Norfolk, and Suffolk, which were known at first, as North Folk, under Shire, and South Folk, under Shire, then as time went on Norfolkshire, and Suffolkshire, and so on, over the years it seems the shires were dropped, by the shortening of words, and why the towns were made into shires is that they were fortified, with walls around them or out posts, and head inside was shire, or sherif, and he ruled the countryside out side as well, so cambridge, became, cambridgeshire, and so on, ie; Nottinghamshire, robin hood country, it realy all started with out Saxon invaders.
***********************************************************
NO 61, WHAT ARE THE NAMES TO MULTiY SIDE OBJECTS.
1, A straight line.
2, 2 straight lines a parerlel or track
3, 3 straight lines joined a triangel
4, 4 straight lines joined a square.
5, 5 strasight lines joined a pentagon
6, 6 straight lines joined a hexagon
7,
8, 8 straight lines joined a octagon.
9, 9 straight lines joined a nonagon
10, 10
11, 11
12, 12 straight lines joined a dodecagon
30, 30 straight lines joined a triacontahedron
********************************************************
NO 62, Food Rationing WW2, for a week from 1941 to 1950s.
We now could call it healthy living.
(Bacon and Ham.........................4oz) (Sugar.................................8 oz) (Butter................................2 0z) (Cooking Fats..........................8 oz) (Meat to the Value....................1s--2d = 6p today) (Tea...................................2 oz) (Cheese................................1 oz) (Jam...................................2 oz) (Plus 16 points a month for other rationed foods suject to availability. But pepole did grow more food in the gardens and some kept rabbits, and chickens, for extra meat and eggs. Also if you had a good stable or shed you could keep a pig or goats some just reared cockerils for the table and fish and chips were in great supply our first take aways.
**********************************************************
NO 63,
A good old country saying,
A whistling woman, a crowing hen, is neither fit for god or man,
**********************************************************
NO 64, JINGLE TALE
Jingle Bells was writen by James Pierpont around the middle of the 19th century it was originally entitled .
One horse open Sleigh.
Peirpont told a neighbour I have a little tune in my head and he asked to use Piano to try it out. Mrs Waterman , Pierponts neighbour later wrote in her diary that she had helped him to complete the chorus of this Christmas Favorite, JINGLE Bells. now you know.
*********************************************************
NO 65, WHAT IS THE MEENING OF, DOG AND BONE.
Well it all started with Alexander Graham Bell, as he invented the Telephone in 1876, and by the time everyone had one in their houses and shops, the good old cockney came up with the slang words, DOG and Bone, "Phone" 1961 it was first written down as cockney slang.
************************************************************
NO 66, THE WORD PRAT.
This was first used in 1000AD it ment a trick or prank but later on it came to mean a persons rear end or private parts, and even later on it became to mean that the person was a fool a jerk, or useless.
***********************************************************
NO 67, THE WORD LOO.
This comes from the French "lieu" or I'EAU(WATER)OR EVEN "Bordalou" a commode, 18th century another changed it to "waterloo " by James Joyce.
*************************************************************
NO 68, WHAT IS A LIVERPOOL KISS OR A GLASGOW KISS.
Well it first came to into being in 1987, or round about that time, its nothing to do with affection, its quite the oppersite . IF you are given a Glasgow, or a Liverpool Kiss, that means you have been in a fight, and been head butted, and what they call a Glasgow Kiss.
*********************************************************
NO 69, A BLOODY MARY.
Well the name came from Mary Tudor, Protestants Burning Her, it then was first served in Harry's Bar, in Paris in the twenties, Tomatoe juice and stronge spirit, the first reference in England 1956, in the punch magerzine, now it's a well known drink in Pubs and Bars.
************************************************************
NO 70, WOLF WHISTLE'S .
Well it's been asked when it started, I can go back to the 1930's and it was a common thing to do as a lovely young lady walked passed a Building site, it could have started in 1847 , in Thackeray's novel Vanity Fair, when he said all men are Wolves, so girls blame him, but most young ladies as they walk pass a building site expect to be whistled at, and at least they know they are being noticed for their looks.
************************************************************
NO 71, WHO WAS THE QUEEN OF SHEBA AND WHERE DID SHE LIVE.
The story of the Queen of Sheba is a little bit iffy, in history writings, it is told that in BC 937 the town of Sheba in Ethiopia, the Queen at that time was Queen Makeda, and she went off to visit King Solomon of Israel, and she had a son by him , who became Ethiopian Emperor, this is very iffy , but there could have been a Sheba in the Yemen(Arabia), there is not concrete writings of where she came from, only here says and Mythical story's.
***************************************************************
NO 72, WHO WAS THIS FELLOW CALLED GUY FAWKES.
Well it all started on November 5th 1605, that was the day it all went wrong for old Guy Fawkes, he and conspirators were going to blow up the House OF Lords, they had got all the Gunpowder in the cellars ready, but the discovery foiled the plot, it was hidden under coal and wood. All this came about with James 1st he said more toleration to the Catholics, but Parliament did not go along with this , so Guy Fawkes and his men who were Catholics took umbridge to this, so the plot was devised, and then all Catholic Parliament would take over the Country, but poor old Guy payed the price
************************************************************
NO 73, WHO WAS BUDDHA AND WHERE DID HE LIVE.
Buddha and his real name, his full name was Gautama Buddha, who lived in the North East of India, he was born a warrior to the tribe of the Sakyas in BC 525, became the founder member of the religion called Buddhism, he was born of noble birth, but he lead a humble life. At 29 years he left home and became a Monk, he found strength in meditation , from this to a wandering teacher, he gave his first serman at Benares on the river Ganges, this is where he outlined his beliefs to his followers and has guided Buddhists ever since. Their way of life is not endulge too much , neither restrict yourself too much, but follow the middle path and maintaining an inner peace. A buddists final spiritual goal is called Nirvana which means completely calm and free from any pain or anxiety, the name Buddha means the enlightened one , his teachings soon spread to all over the Far East, he died at the age of 80 years, but different books show he died earlier 60 years well as I WAS not around at that time, so a few years either way between friends does it matter, . There are a lot of people that collect his little scuptures of him the Little Fat Buddha sitting on the side board , and laughing his head off.
***********************************************************
NO 74, WHO WAS HEREWARD THE WAKE, HE WAS WELL KNOWN IN THE FENS.
Hereward was a Saxon resistance fighter, who came to the Fens after the defeat at the battle of Hastings 1066, but from 1067 to 1071 he and his guerrilla fighters held out in the Isles of Ely Fens taunting the Norman's. But help was coming with soldiers in the Danish fleet that came in at the Humber, but they didn't help poor old Hereward, they just looted the city of Peterborough, and then sailed away again leaveing Hereward to fight his own battles, he crossed the Fens and made camp at place believed to be Auldereth, just out side Ely, But old William the Conqueror, came and blocked every out let to the Fens and he built a bridge two miles long on the Western side now thought to be Auldreth, where most of the rebels surrended, but Hereward, escaped through the FENS with some men but old William didn't give chase, but old Hereward still had ago at our William,
***********************************************************
NO 75, WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SPLIT THE ATOM.
It was done at Cambridge Labourity in 1927, by none other Sir Ernest Rutherford, 1871-- 1937, he bombarded nitrogen and discovered that protoms were charged and were entering the nuclies of atoms and causing the equivalent of an explosion this was in 1927 from this in WW11, we got the Atomic bomb that was dropped on Japan 1945, it ended the war,
************************************************************
NO 76, IT'S AD,43, TO 410 AD, THE ROMANS HAVE ARRIVED.
They landed and Built Roman settlements, all walled in and big army garrison, that covered most of England and Wales, but Scotland only as far the boarder, they brought with them a new way of eating, and introduced new types of food, and plants, new herbs , cabbages, onions, peppers, ginger, olive oil, they aslso brought rabbits and made warrens to keep them in, guinea fowl, pheasants, and also vine yards, for wine makeing, apple trees, the cherry tree, and garlic, and a type of cooking soda,under floor heating, baths for everyone, plus stone houses, and mosaic floor paterns , and law and order, money , gold, and silver,and the wheel, carts then could take heavey loads.
*******************************************************
NO 77, WELL THE ROMANS GONE, AND IT'S AD 450 TO AD 1500, THE SAXONS AND THE NORMANS ARRIVE.
The Saxons brought a new way of eating, fishing by netting them that supplied the multitudes, and there was plenty of fish in the waters around our shores, also the Normans brought their way of eating, Cider making, PEAS, pLUMS, STRAWBERRY'S, and the Walnut trees, also Currant bushes, and some spices,
*********************************************************
NO 78, AGE OF DISCOVERY AD 1500 TO AD 1600,
This time of discovery with large ships travelling to far away places and bringing back new foods, Asparagus, green peppers , runner beans, turkeys, and pumpkins also beetroot, apricot, and the quince,
***********************************************************
NO 79, NEW FOODS UNDER THE STUARTS AD 1603 TO AD 1714,
At this time ALE is brewed in great quanties, and drunkenness was a vice of the times, Chocolate, Coffee, Banana, Port, and Rum, were imported at this time plus the good old tea leaf, which price was lower than Ale, so England became a land of tea drinkers, and it's still going strong in todays world.
************************************************************
NO 80, THE GEORGIAN ERA AD 1715 TO AD 1830
In the 1780s Arther Guinness, made in Dublin the then known Dublin porter or stout, that is still brewed today as Guinness, curry powder came, peanuts, and the coconut, all at this time.
************************************************************
NO 81, THE VICTORIAN ERA IS WITH US AD 1830 TO AD 1900.
A new style of eating habits start, eating out in restaurants, cafes, and dinning in large groups, big banqueting halls built, and lavish parties for the rich and famous.
*********************************************************
NO 82,A GOAL KEEPERS DREAM, PUTTING THE BALL BETWEEN THE STICKS.
To score a goal from goal to goal, in one almighty kick, well it's happened twice as far as history has written it down, the first time it was recorded was in April 14th 1900, the instance was when Charlie Williams of Manchester City from a goal-kick to the opposite number in the Sunderland goal J.E,Doig scoring direct straight in. Argubly the most famous goal of all time by goal-keeper Pat Jennings effort in the 1967 charity shield playing for Spurs against Manchester United his goal clearance kick flew past opposite number Alex Stepney after it was caught by a gust of wind and in it went, and if theres more let me know.
***********************************************************
NO 83, WHEN DID THE CRUSANDES TAKE PLACE, AND WHO PAID FOR THEM, WELL THE CHURCH IS SUPOSED TO BE A NONE VIOLENT ORDER,????
Now history and the catholic church are something to be recond with, the Pope and the Vatican are a force of power, and rule by fear. The Cursades were a series of Holy wars and all paid for by successive Popes, to retake Jerusalem and the Holy Sepulchre away from the Mohammed's or as we say now Moslem's . The first Crusade was 1095 AD, Pope Urban, paid for that one out of catholic coffers, to remove the Mohammed's out of Jerusalem, the word CRUSADE is a Spanish word meaning mark of the cross, the Crusades were mainly to remove the insurgents from all Holy Places so the Pilgrims could journey in peace to the holy land. In this time a Christian Goverment was set up and the states around it, Edessa, Antioch, and Tripoli, but in 1144 AD, the Mohammeds return, so a second Crusade begins in 1147 - 1149 AD, but it accomplished nothing other wise a failer. The Mohammedan leader Saladin, he caurced the started the third Crusade, this time it was led by Phillip the Fair, and Richard the Lion Heart, Acre was captured but the two kings could not agree, and was abanoned, another lot of Popes money up the spout, now its the fourth Crusade 1202-1204 AD never reached Palestine, but instead attacked and captured the Chirstian City of Constantinople. The fifth Crusade 1221 was a complete failer, but the sixth Crusade 1228-1229 AD, Jerusalem was obtained from the Moammedan's by negotiation. The City was recaptured by the turks in 1244, this brought on the Severth Crusade in which the leader King Louis 1X, of France he was taken prisoner and ronsomed. Louis also lead the eighth Crusade this time to Tunis, where he died of plague in 1270, they went on to Acre until 1291 AD when they surrendered . The Catholic's tried to revive the Holy wars in the 14th century but failed , but as it is now Jerusalem is split in three parts, the Wailing Wall of the Jews, the Golden Dome Mosque of the Muslems, and then theres the Holy Sepulchre of the Christians, and in the year 2007 AD they are still at each other throats and thats religion for you , taking the country as a whole , this has been going on for three thousand two houndred years and it looks like it will go on for another three thousand years, if thats religion , why bother praying when there's no hope of living together in peace.
**********************************************************************
No 27, WHY DO THE AUSTRALIANS CALL THE BRITISH POHMs.
Well it all started in 1840, when the first convicts were deported to Australia, as they were unwanted citizens, such as theives, prostitutes, and general thugs. The first to go were shipped on the Hashemy, they were stopped from landing at Melbourne, they moved on to Sidney, big out cry there no landing so they moved to Brisbane where they landed as the farmers needed cheep labour,on their sheep farms, so thats where they settle, and as they were prisoners of the british government, and Dear old Victoria was queen at the time, so as Prisoners Of Her Majesty, shortened to, P,O,H,M, POHM. NOW you now we are still called pohms, it all stopped in 1849.
*************************************************************
No 28 .WHY IS THE SKY BLUE.
The rays of the Sun in striking the earth's atmosphere, there are scattered countless specks that fill the air, the blue specks are scattered farther than the red, thus the blue sky, if the air was free of particles of dust, the sky would be dark relieved only by the brightness of the Sun and moon and stars, which would then always be visible.
***********************************************************
No 29 . WHEN DID MATCHES BECOME TO PRACTICAL USE.
In 1827 AD by John Walker an English Chemist, they were sold in tin boxes of fifty, they were not called matches, but were called Lucifer's they sold at the time for two-shillings and sixpence a box but later reduced to a shilling a box but still a lot of money in those days, now we have throw away lighters for give away prices how times change.
***********************************************************
No 30, CAN MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH BECOME MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT
Priests, and people of Holy Orders are not allowed to sit in the House OF Commons as parliament representatives for a constituency to represent the people, but they can if they are Archbishops or Bishops, sit the House of Lords chamber, they become, The Lords Spiritual of the Realm, other wise no they can not become M,P,s
************************************************************
No 31. WHAT ARE "FLYING FLIES" .
They are those curious little floating images which everybody sees before their eyes at sometime or other, and for which the Medical Term is Musce Volantes, (latin for "Flying flies"). They are caused by the presence in the body of the eye of minute opaque particles, in the shape of spots or straight, looped or twisted fibres, which cast their shadows, greatly magnified, upon the retina . The mind projects these images into space, that we appear to see them floating in the air when we look at brightly lighted surface.
NOW WE KNOW, ITS NOT GHOSTS WE ARE SEEING, BUT LITTLE BITS OF FAIRY DUST IN YOUR EYES THAT YOU HAVEN'T WASHED OUT.
***********************************************************
No 32. THE LIVEING IN BRITAIN 5,000 YEARS AGO, THE FOOD AND THE ICEAGE TO PRESENT DAY, NOTHING TO DISTROY THE OZOON LAYER THEN, SO WHY DID THE ICE MELT, AS AT THAT TIME ABOUT 20 FEET THICK.
Well our ancestors of the iceage time lived by trial and error, for the primitive man, eating could be as dangerous as hunting . An eye catching berry, or an aromatic mushroom might be nutritous or lethal, if he died it was his survivors who gained the benefit, but wild animals were in abundance, the skins were used as cloths. The Britains were liveing in settlements now, and started to live in an orderly manner, with a trbe Elder, or King, and some Tribes a Queen, also the worshipping of Gods had started. The gulf stream at this point was making an impact on Britain, ice was melting fast and the break through of the channel, so now we are no longer part of Europe, 20 miles of water, and the ice melted till it was bare land all over, then everything multiplied very rapid. People of today are blaming the climate change now on to Motor Car and other things that put smoke into the sky, well it was'nt cars then, so why blame them now, its just another faise of the world that is going on, for millions of years its happened so why should it stop now, perhaps in a thousand years this will be all ice again.
************************************************************
No 33, DIGGING HOLES.
If it takes a man all day to dig a hole, how long will it take him to dig a half a hole. Answer, Theres no such thing as a half a hole, because a hole is a hole no matter what size, so it is impossible to dig a half a hole.
************************************************************
No 34, WHERE WOULD YOU FIND THE GARDEN OF EDEN?.
Well the short answer, you will not find it, the garden is totally mythical, God is supposed to have created a garden for Adam, the first man. It thought to be between the Rivers Tigris and Euphrates in Messopotamian region, now Iraqi. The tree of knowledge grew in this garden and it was there that man fell from grace in Gods eyes because Eve prompted Adam with the fruit from this tree and ate the fruit, this was all done by the backing of the Serpent this tree was supposed to be the tree of life, but from that day God devised three punishments to human beings.
One, was that man will till the earth for food.
Two, woman was to suffer pain in child birth.
Three, serpents or snakes, would be from that day, be hated by mankind.
The moral to this story is that man chose knowledge and death, rather than ignorance and eternal life.
************************************************************
No 35, THE MEASUREMENT OF THE YARD.
Well in the old days to measure a yard in length, was quite a too-doo, now once a year as people came out of Church the first three men were asked to step a yard, and the average between the three, was the yard for that village for the year. This happened all over the country, so each village and town were different, until the national measurement was introduced, there is one on a monument in london, but the most important one is in the sience museum in london, and kept at a certain temp;, all year round, that's where all measurements are taken from.
***********************************************************
No 36. WHAT IS HARA KIRI.
Hara-Kiri means belly-cutting a type of suicide with the Samurai warriors who was defeated in battle dated back to the 12th century, but was used a lot in WW11, if captured, so all Jappanese prisoners had to be watched closely. The Jappanese that were on trial at Changi Jail and sentenced to be hung for war crimes, as hanging was a dishonourable death, there were a few that nearly made it, and its not a pretty site, a man with all his intestines hanging out, but as the Emperor was a God they did it for him, but surgeons stitched them all back again, and they hung in the breeze with the rest, for their crimes against humanity to our prisoners of war.
***********************************************************
No 37, SPELL CHECKER A BIT OF FUN,
MY SPELLING CHECKER.
*****************
eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea.
it plainly marques for my revue, miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
eye strick a key and type a word, and weight four it twoi say.
weather eye am wrong oar write, it shows me strait a weigh.
as soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose bee fore two long.
and l can put the error rite its rare lea ever wrong.
eye have run this poem threw it l am shore yore pleased too no.
its letter perfect all the weigh my chequer tolled me sew.
**********************************************************
No 38 . SLAVERY OF THE WORLD .
Slavery goes back to the Egyptians, remember Mosses and his tribe were slaves, they had to build the Great Palaces, and Pyramids, the Romans had Slaves, remember Spartacus, he caused a revolt and released hundreds of slaves, but in the end was caught and all his followers sixthousand of them, and all were crucified BC 73-71. The Portuguese began the slave trade AD.1440 but it reached its height under the English, who shipped vast numbers of Africans to America and the Colonies, more than seven million were transported from Africa, to a life of misery. This also changed the population of the Americas, Brazil population became half African. Slave ships were in their hay day in 1701-1810, onemillion died from suffocation on the ships, it took ten weeks to get to the Americas, so most of the time the Slaves were chained, to stop them jumping over board, and they were branded like cattle. British in 1833 abolished all slave trade, but the people who were slave traders made big fortunes out of it and some of the so called gentry of today are still multimillionaires through the past of selling human life, it wasn't till 1948 the United Nation made a declaration of human rights that prohibits slavery and the trade in slaves. I have never seen anyone of those so called gentry offering to hand some of that money back to develope the country's that they took the slaves from, or is that asking too much, so the next time you see, a name come on the TV, or in the papers, with Lord, or Vicount,and Duke, he could well be liveing on money from slaves. ?
*************************************************************
No 39 . WHO WAS MATA HARI .
First of all the words Mata Hari is of oriental meaning, the eye of the day, her real name was, Margaretha Geertruida Zella, a Dutch dancer. She was born in 1876 and married to a Dutch Army Officer, named Macleod, but after a few years she sought fame and fortune, to become a courtesan and oriental dancer in Paris, she adopted the name Mata Hari, in 1907 she joined the German Secret Service and during World War 1, she betrayed many secrets that had been given to her by French Officers who had fallen for her love, in 1917 she was arrested convicted of treason found guilty and executed by firing squad, so from then on a traitor was a Mata Hari. now you know. **********************************************************
No 40 . WHY DO WOMEN WEAR HATS IN CHURCH.
Because St Paul, said (1 Corinthians X1, ) Every woman that prayeth or propheieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head. Another bit of Catholic codswallop, then they wounder why people don't go to church, dose it make any different if a womans head is covered or not, so long as she is in church, and want to be there.
************************************************************
No 41 . BY JINGO, HOW DID IT COME IN TO BEING.
Well in AD, 200 , the Japanese invaded Korea, led by a woman, who at the time was Empress Jingo on the Throne, and she led the forces, but the Koreans just gave up at her appearance on the field of battle, yes she did occupy the throne at this time, but the English expression, ( BY JINGO ) Highly Doubtful, that she was ever in Korea, yes the Japanese did rule them.
************************************************************
No 42 , WHY IS THE RED SEA RED.
Because the millions of microscopic Algae that float on the surface which are reddish in colour, and in other parts of the Globe minute organisms give stretches of the Oceans a white, yellow, orange, or a brown hue, that's what give the seas different colours, little living microisms that float on the surface. ANOTHER BIT OF USELESS IMFORMATION.
*************************************************************
No 43 . WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES.
1,= PAPER. 2.= COTTON. 3,= LEATHER. 4,= FRUIT/FLOWER. 5,=WOOD 6,= SUGAR. 7, = WOOL. 8,= BRONZE. 9, =POTTERY. 10,= TIN. 11, =STEEL. 12, =SILK/LINEN. 13, = LACE. 14, = IVORY. 15, =CRYSTAL. 20, =CHINA. 25, =SILVER. 30,= PEARL. 35,= CORAL. 40,= RUBY . 45, = SAFFHIRE. 50, = GOLD. 55,= EMERALD. 60,= DIAMOND.
*************************************************************
No 44 , TREE SUPERSTITIONS.
If the Ash leaves come before the Oak there will be a splash,(light rain)but if the Oak leaves come before the Ash there will be a soak (down pour of rain ).
**********************************************************
No 45, WHY DO WE SHAKE HANDS ON MEETING.
It started as a way of peace and friendship, then to clinch an agreement or a business deal, by shaking hands on it, was part of the Roman marriage ceremony, also with the Hindus the clasping of hands.
************************************************************
No 46, WHAT DOES GOODBYE MEAN.
Goodbye is stortened of words, God be with you, as God became Good, like Gods Morning, to Good Morning, same for evening, and day, instead of God, we put Good.
*************************************************************
No 47, WHAT CITY IS CARVED OUT OF LIVING ROCK.
It is the City of Petra in the transjordania area, this is in the middle of rock formation which makes a rough circle in the middle, with a very small entrance between two rock faces, there are dwellings, tombs, temples, and store houses all hewn out of the solid rock faces, and if you are lucky to be there when the sun hits it in a certain position it takes on a pinkie hue in colour, l have been lucky to have been there.
************************************************************
No 48, THE TEARM GIVING SOMEONE THE COLD SHOULDER.
The earliest references to this is in the 19th century, it was for unwanted guests or someone who had stayed too long, people who were invited to dinner got a hot and tasty dinner, others who were not invited or over stayed their wecome, got cold dinner of shoulder of mutton, or shoulder of beef, other wise given unwanted guests a cold shoulder.
**********************************************************
No 49 OFF THE CUFF.
This came in to being in thirties of after dinner speakers, a person at a dinner party would be asked to make a speach during dinner, so while eating his dinner made notes on his starched shirt cuffs, so when he got up to speak he had his prompt on his cuffs, so the saying became, its off the cuff.
*************************************************************
No 50, TO BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF SOMEONE.
Well to beat the living daylights out of someone was in the mid 18th century, in was to do with bare nuckle fighting or boxing. The tearm meening to close the other persons eyes so he could not see to box, other wise beating the living day lights out of him, so he could not see day light, but in the 19th century this became a saying to give a person a good hiding for something he had done wrong.
************************************************************
NO 51, THIS HAS JUST COME TO MY NOTICE.SUN RISE AND SUN SET AT HEACHAM?????
Talking to a local person down at Heacham, in the Walsh, well according to him that is the only place in the England that the Sun rises, and sets on the sea, now l have never seen this but to him its a well known fact, so anyone out there knows this is not true and why like to hear from you , EDDIE,.
I can now reveal the truth about the Sun rise and Sun set over Heacham, well it don't not according to weather experts, yes the Sun Sets at Heacham but the Sun Rises at Yarmouth over the sea, and sets over the sea at Heacham another bit of useless imformation, this is from , [email protected] weather dept. But East Anglia can say we are the only county that the Sun Rises and Sun Sets over the Sea, rises at yarmouth, sets at heacham.
************************************************************
NO 52, WEATHER FORCAST YEARS AGO
Weather forcast before radio, television, and telephones, this is for two months of any year, march first, a farmer would count the days and date of that month that there was a fog, he would then write on his calendar in the month of april the same days that there was a fog, and he new that on those days nine times out of ten there would be a frost so could cover up his plants, weather forcast of long ago.
***********************************************************
NO 53, CHURCHILLS QUOTE TO OUR FIGHTER PILOTS, BATTLE OF BRITAIN.
He never said this frase, Never in the caurse of human conflict have so many owed so much to so few.
What he did say is,; Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
**********************************************************
NO 54, 1945 DID UNEMPLOYMENT VANISH.
In 1945 the british people elected a labour goverment, as they said unemployment would vanish , well the real truth is that unemployment never vanishes under any goverment, so why say it in the first place.
*********************************************************
NO 55. CHARLES 11,
It has always been said that Charles 11, was brought back from France, sorry its wrong, ha was brought back from Holland.
**********************************************************
NO 56, BRITAIN THE WEALTHIEST INDUSTRIAL COUNTRY FOR 150 YEARS
Well l can assure you that britain was not the wealthiest country in the world for her industrial know how for 150 years, it was more like 50 years only.
************************************************************
57, CANALS OF ENGLAND.
In 1780s it was said that the canals were dug by the immigrant irish labour, well true fscts it was mainly dug by navvie's from all over england, but with some irish labour that had come over.Why don't people tell the truth for a start, and it would make life a lot easyer.
**********************************************************
NO 58, RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD IN ORDER OF FOUNDING.
JUDAISM, HEBREW, Was founded by Abraham 2000, BC this as far as I can find out is the oldest religion in the world to make a stable tribe to live together, it works,
HINDUISM, FOUNDED 1500 BC, This is the largest relgion in India, it worship many things, but it keeps people in harmany with each other.
CONFUCIANISN, 551,BC, IT WAS A RELIGION OF THOUGHT, but its not in very much strenght now,
JAINISM, FOUNDED 540 BC, THESE are strict vegetarians of Buddhist like ways.
BUDDHISM, 500 BC , RELIGION is the none agressife way of life no one has the right to kill each other or any animal or insect,
CHRISTIANITY, FOUNDED 100 AD, AND IN ENGLAND 400 AD WHEN IT FINANLY STARTED,this spread right across the world in the name of Catholic teachings of a better life, but it cost poor people a hard life, untill Henry V111, came along and made the Chruch of England which was more liberal to the people,
ISLAM, OR MOHAMMEDISM, FOUNDED 570 AD,TO 622 AD, THIS religion has caused a lot of up heaval in the world as it makes women secound class to the men folk, and must never uncover their faces for another man to see them, what ever made a man sit down and write a that into a way of life, he must have been out of his mind and thats the only religion that impose this on women , the Muslem women have no human rights at all,
SHINTOISM, JAPANESE WAY OF LIFE , founded 800 AD , ITS A CULT religion , of very harsh ways , live by the sword , die by the sword,
SIKHISM, FOUNDED 1539 AD, A VERY YOUNG RELIGION they are not allowed to cut their hair or shave their faces , its a worrior type of religion,
***********************************************************
NO 59, EVE'S DROPPING
The words eve's dropping how did that start, well way back before guttering was put around houses to catch the water and channel it into water butts and tubs, in the days of old houses were built with a large over hang on the roofs, anything up to two feet wide or more, to shoot the water nearly into the middle of the street, so when it rained people would stand under the roof eve's till it stopped, and most times they could hear the people talking in side the houses, and listening to what they were saying, hence EVE's DROPPING.
***********************************************************
NO 60, WHY HAS SOME COUNTIES GOT SHIRE AT THE END, AND OTHERS DO NOT. Shires at the end of a county, well this all started in Anglo- Saxon times, there was appionted Sheriff to each county, and it came shireriff, or short, Shire , now likes of Cambridge, with a shire, hence cambridgeshire, and so on right through England. The High Shirrif or the shires head man had rights to a man hanged or sent to prison, or even release prisoners, he had this right in line with the King or queen of that time, now for the likes of Norfolk, and Suffolk, which were known at first, as North Folk, under Shire, and South Folk, under Shire, then as time went on Norfolkshire, and Suffolkshire, and so on, over the years it seems the shires were dropped, by the shortening of words, and why the towns were made into shires is that they were fortified, with walls around them or out posts, and head inside was shire, or sherif, and he ruled the countryside out side as well, so cambridge, became, cambridgeshire, and so on, ie; Nottinghamshire, robin hood country, it realy all started with out Saxon invaders.
***********************************************************
NO 61, WHAT ARE THE NAMES TO MULTiY SIDE OBJECTS.
1, A straight line.
2, 2 straight lines a parerlel or track
3, 3 straight lines joined a triangel
4, 4 straight lines joined a square.
5, 5 strasight lines joined a pentagon
6, 6 straight lines joined a hexagon
7,
8, 8 straight lines joined a octagon.
9, 9 straight lines joined a nonagon
10, 10
11, 11
12, 12 straight lines joined a dodecagon
30, 30 straight lines joined a triacontahedron
********************************************************
NO 62, Food Rationing WW2, for a week from 1941 to 1950s.
We now could call it healthy living.
(Bacon and Ham.........................4oz) (Sugar.................................8 oz) (Butter................................2 0z) (Cooking Fats..........................8 oz) (Meat to the Value....................1s--2d = 6p today) (Tea...................................2 oz) (Cheese................................1 oz) (Jam...................................2 oz) (Plus 16 points a month for other rationed foods suject to availability. But pepole did grow more food in the gardens and some kept rabbits, and chickens, for extra meat and eggs. Also if you had a good stable or shed you could keep a pig or goats some just reared cockerils for the table and fish and chips were in great supply our first take aways.
**********************************************************
NO 63,
A good old country saying,
A whistling woman, a crowing hen, is neither fit for god or man,
**********************************************************
NO 64, JINGLE TALE
Jingle Bells was writen by James Pierpont around the middle of the 19th century it was originally entitled .
One horse open Sleigh.
Peirpont told a neighbour I have a little tune in my head and he asked to use Piano to try it out. Mrs Waterman , Pierponts neighbour later wrote in her diary that she had helped him to complete the chorus of this Christmas Favorite, JINGLE Bells. now you know.
*********************************************************
NO 65, WHAT IS THE MEENING OF, DOG AND BONE.
Well it all started with Alexander Graham Bell, as he invented the Telephone in 1876, and by the time everyone had one in their houses and shops, the good old cockney came up with the slang words, DOG and Bone, "Phone" 1961 it was first written down as cockney slang.
************************************************************
NO 66, THE WORD PRAT.
This was first used in 1000AD it ment a trick or prank but later on it came to mean a persons rear end or private parts, and even later on it became to mean that the person was a fool a jerk, or useless.
***********************************************************
NO 67, THE WORD LOO.
This comes from the French "lieu" or I'EAU(WATER)OR EVEN "Bordalou" a commode, 18th century another changed it to "waterloo " by James Joyce.
*************************************************************
NO 68, WHAT IS A LIVERPOOL KISS OR A GLASGOW KISS.
Well it first came to into being in 1987, or round about that time, its nothing to do with affection, its quite the oppersite . IF you are given a Glasgow, or a Liverpool Kiss, that means you have been in a fight, and been head butted, and what they call a Glasgow Kiss.
*********************************************************
NO 69, A BLOODY MARY.
Well the name came from Mary Tudor, Protestants Burning Her, it then was first served in Harry's Bar, in Paris in the twenties, Tomatoe juice and stronge spirit, the first reference in England 1956, in the punch magerzine, now it's a well known drink in Pubs and Bars.
************************************************************
NO 70, WOLF WHISTLE'S .
Well it's been asked when it started, I can go back to the 1930's and it was a common thing to do as a lovely young lady walked passed a Building site, it could have started in 1847 , in Thackeray's novel Vanity Fair, when he said all men are Wolves, so girls blame him, but most young ladies as they walk pass a building site expect to be whistled at, and at least they know they are being noticed for their looks.
************************************************************
NO 71, WHO WAS THE QUEEN OF SHEBA AND WHERE DID SHE LIVE.
The story of the Queen of Sheba is a little bit iffy, in history writings, it is told that in BC 937 the town of Sheba in Ethiopia, the Queen at that time was Queen Makeda, and she went off to visit King Solomon of Israel, and she had a son by him , who became Ethiopian Emperor, this is very iffy , but there could have been a Sheba in the Yemen(Arabia), there is not concrete writings of where she came from, only here says and Mythical story's.
***************************************************************
NO 72, WHO WAS THIS FELLOW CALLED GUY FAWKES.
Well it all started on November 5th 1605, that was the day it all went wrong for old Guy Fawkes, he and conspirators were going to blow up the House OF Lords, they had got all the Gunpowder in the cellars ready, but the discovery foiled the plot, it was hidden under coal and wood. All this came about with James 1st he said more toleration to the Catholics, but Parliament did not go along with this , so Guy Fawkes and his men who were Catholics took umbridge to this, so the plot was devised, and then all Catholic Parliament would take over the Country, but poor old Guy payed the price
************************************************************
NO 73, WHO WAS BUDDHA AND WHERE DID HE LIVE.
Buddha and his real name, his full name was Gautama Buddha, who lived in the North East of India, he was born a warrior to the tribe of the Sakyas in BC 525, became the founder member of the religion called Buddhism, he was born of noble birth, but he lead a humble life. At 29 years he left home and became a Monk, he found strength in meditation , from this to a wandering teacher, he gave his first serman at Benares on the river Ganges, this is where he outlined his beliefs to his followers and has guided Buddhists ever since. Their way of life is not endulge too much , neither restrict yourself too much, but follow the middle path and maintaining an inner peace. A buddists final spiritual goal is called Nirvana which means completely calm and free from any pain or anxiety, the name Buddha means the enlightened one , his teachings soon spread to all over the Far East, he died at the age of 80 years, but different books show he died earlier 60 years well as I WAS not around at that time, so a few years either way between friends does it matter, . There are a lot of people that collect his little scuptures of him the Little Fat Buddha sitting on the side board , and laughing his head off.
***********************************************************
NO 74, WHO WAS HEREWARD THE WAKE, HE WAS WELL KNOWN IN THE FENS.
Hereward was a Saxon resistance fighter, who came to the Fens after the defeat at the battle of Hastings 1066, but from 1067 to 1071 he and his guerrilla fighters held out in the Isles of Ely Fens taunting the Norman's. But help was coming with soldiers in the Danish fleet that came in at the Humber, but they didn't help poor old Hereward, they just looted the city of Peterborough, and then sailed away again leaveing Hereward to fight his own battles, he crossed the Fens and made camp at place believed to be Auldereth, just out side Ely, But old William the Conqueror, came and blocked every out let to the Fens and he built a bridge two miles long on the Western side now thought to be Auldreth, where most of the rebels surrended, but Hereward, escaped through the FENS with some men but old William didn't give chase, but old Hereward still had ago at our William,
***********************************************************
NO 75, WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SPLIT THE ATOM.
It was done at Cambridge Labourity in 1927, by none other Sir Ernest Rutherford, 1871-- 1937, he bombarded nitrogen and discovered that protoms were charged and were entering the nuclies of atoms and causing the equivalent of an explosion this was in 1927 from this in WW11, we got the Atomic bomb that was dropped on Japan 1945, it ended the war,
************************************************************
NO 76, IT'S AD,43, TO 410 AD, THE ROMANS HAVE ARRIVED.
They landed and Built Roman settlements, all walled in and big army garrison, that covered most of England and Wales, but Scotland only as far the boarder, they brought with them a new way of eating, and introduced new types of food, and plants, new herbs , cabbages, onions, peppers, ginger, olive oil, they aslso brought rabbits and made warrens to keep them in, guinea fowl, pheasants, and also vine yards, for wine makeing, apple trees, the cherry tree, and garlic, and a type of cooking soda,under floor heating, baths for everyone, plus stone houses, and mosaic floor paterns , and law and order, money , gold, and silver,and the wheel, carts then could take heavey loads.
*******************************************************
NO 77, WELL THE ROMANS GONE, AND IT'S AD 450 TO AD 1500, THE SAXONS AND THE NORMANS ARRIVE.
The Saxons brought a new way of eating, fishing by netting them that supplied the multitudes, and there was plenty of fish in the waters around our shores, also the Normans brought their way of eating, Cider making, PEAS, pLUMS, STRAWBERRY'S, and the Walnut trees, also Currant bushes, and some spices,
*********************************************************
NO 78, AGE OF DISCOVERY AD 1500 TO AD 1600,
This time of discovery with large ships travelling to far away places and bringing back new foods, Asparagus, green peppers , runner beans, turkeys, and pumpkins also beetroot, apricot, and the quince,
***********************************************************
NO 79, NEW FOODS UNDER THE STUARTS AD 1603 TO AD 1714,
At this time ALE is brewed in great quanties, and drunkenness was a vice of the times, Chocolate, Coffee, Banana, Port, and Rum, were imported at this time plus the good old tea leaf, which price was lower than Ale, so England became a land of tea drinkers, and it's still going strong in todays world.
************************************************************
NO 80, THE GEORGIAN ERA AD 1715 TO AD 1830
In the 1780s Arther Guinness, made in Dublin the then known Dublin porter or stout, that is still brewed today as Guinness, curry powder came, peanuts, and the coconut, all at this time.
************************************************************
NO 81, THE VICTORIAN ERA IS WITH US AD 1830 TO AD 1900.
A new style of eating habits start, eating out in restaurants, cafes, and dinning in large groups, big banqueting halls built, and lavish parties for the rich and famous.
*********************************************************
NO 82,A GOAL KEEPERS DREAM, PUTTING THE BALL BETWEEN THE STICKS.
To score a goal from goal to goal, in one almighty kick, well it's happened twice as far as history has written it down, the first time it was recorded was in April 14th 1900, the instance was when Charlie Williams of Manchester City from a goal-kick to the opposite number in the Sunderland goal J.E,Doig scoring direct straight in. Argubly the most famous goal of all time by goal-keeper Pat Jennings effort in the 1967 charity shield playing for Spurs against Manchester United his goal clearance kick flew past opposite number Alex Stepney after it was caught by a gust of wind and in it went, and if theres more let me know.
***********************************************************
NO 83, WHEN DID THE CRUSANDES TAKE PLACE, AND WHO PAID FOR THEM, WELL THE CHURCH IS SUPOSED TO BE A NONE VIOLENT ORDER,????
Now history and the catholic church are something to be recond with, the Pope and the Vatican are a force of power, and rule by fear. The Cursades were a series of Holy wars and all paid for by successive Popes, to retake Jerusalem and the Holy Sepulchre away from the Mohammed's or as we say now Moslem's . The first Crusade was 1095 AD, Pope Urban, paid for that one out of catholic coffers, to remove the Mohammed's out of Jerusalem, the word CRUSADE is a Spanish word meaning mark of the cross, the Crusades were mainly to remove the insurgents from all Holy Places so the Pilgrims could journey in peace to the holy land. In this time a Christian Goverment was set up and the states around it, Edessa, Antioch, and Tripoli, but in 1144 AD, the Mohammeds return, so a second Crusade begins in 1147 - 1149 AD, but it accomplished nothing other wise a failer. The Mohammedan leader Saladin, he caurced the started the third Crusade, this time it was led by Phillip the Fair, and Richard the Lion Heart, Acre was captured but the two kings could not agree, and was abanoned, another lot of Popes money up the spout, now its the fourth Crusade 1202-1204 AD never reached Palestine, but instead attacked and captured the Chirstian City of Constantinople. The fifth Crusade 1221 was a complete failer, but the sixth Crusade 1228-1229 AD, Jerusalem was obtained from the Moammedan's by negotiation. The City was recaptured by the turks in 1244, this brought on the Severth Crusade in which the leader King Louis 1X, of France he was taken prisoner and ronsomed. Louis also lead the eighth Crusade this time to Tunis, where he died of plague in 1270, they went on to Acre until 1291 AD when they surrendered . The Catholic's tried to revive the Holy wars in the 14th century but failed , but as it is now Jerusalem is split in three parts, the Wailing Wall of the Jews, the Golden Dome Mosque of the Muslems, and then theres the Holy Sepulchre of the Christians, and in the year 2007 AD they are still at each other throats and thats religion for you , taking the country as a whole , this has been going on for three thousand two houndred years and it looks like it will go on for another three thousand years, if thats religion , why bother praying when there's no hope of living together in peace.
**********************************************************************
NO 84. THE DUCKING STOOLS, AND WHEN WERE THEY USED.
Ducking stools were first used in the 17th century ,as a punishment for women ,who talked too much, nagging wives, witches, and prostitutes, the stool were like an armchair fastened to a wooden beam fixed like a see-saw, on the edge of a river or pond, it had an iron bar across it to stop them falling out. Then the chair was plunged under the water and it was the duty of the magistrates to order the number of duckings that the woman should have, these were used up to the begining of the 19th century, yes I could name a few people who need it now not only women but a few men as well it might curb their radical tougues a bit and see this country for what it is ,and not slag it off.
**********************************************************************
NO 85. SANTA CLAUS, WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF THIS MAN.
Well this jolly gentleman, it all started in the 4th -5th century A.D. by the name of ST NICHOLAS, the patron saint of school children ,and sailors, little is known about his life it is said he was the Bishop of Myra in Lycia (asia minor) it is known that he saved three Army Officers from death, then in the 17th century the Dutch PROTESTANT settlers in New Amsterdam, now New York replaced ST Nicholas with Sinter Claes, then called Santa Claus, this spread through many counties in Europe, this is where his name changed again to Father Christmas as he was to on the 25th December or New years day ,, it looks as if this bit of little madjic for the young children will soon die out as the Doo Gooders, are scare mougers of todays world will kill it off as no child is aloud to touch father Christmas anymore or Father Christmas touching them , just because some stupid clot says he might be a child molester , what a load of crap the parents are always there, and if it's in a school the Teachers are there, this ENGLISH nation of ours has become a nation of hype through the media of the press and T.V.
********************************************************************
NO, 86, WHO FIRST USED CLOCKS ,TO TELL THE TIME.
It is believed to be the Babylonians , a type of Sun DIAL ,it was a pole fixed in the ground and the shadow changed during the hours of sunlight ,marks were then put on the ground ,but the Egyptians made sundials on metal plates ,and also a clepsdra or water clock, it was a basin type vessel with a hole in the bottom as the water dripped out lines were in the other vessel that told the time . Monks used clocks operated by wheels and weights ,they were found in monasteries in the 14th century , the first spring driven clock was in the 1500s and so on todays clocks that are set by satellite and accurid to the second ,people are still late for appointments ,why ,well i think it's human nature ,they all think OH I have got time to get there ,but no one expect to be helled up by something thats happened on the road they are about to travel, but time from one side of the country to the other could be different as in ENGLAND if was say 12-00 am noon in London it could be 11-00 am in say Birmingham, ,why because of the slow travel at that time ,horse and carridge , and not until we got the Railways that all changed as the Railways had to run on time so all clocks were set then to grenage meen time , it was the railways that changed our way of life with the clocks. late 1800s EARLY 1900S SO THERE YOU HAVE IT ,
**********************************************************************
NO 87, QUEEN BOUDICA , DID SHE HAVE SCYTHES FITTED TO HER CHARIOT.
Well I can tell you now that it is all untrue of this Queen of the Anglians, it was all made up by the Victorians ,to put her on a higher pedstral, she never had scythes fitted to her chariot as you will see why , the Persians were the first to try it on Alexander the Great, but found them difficult to drive, and the myth about having their legs cut off was too all a myth , more soldiers were killed cby chariot horses, by being trampled to death or run over by the chariot wheels. let truth prevails,
********************************************************************
NO, 88, DID ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL, REALLY INVENT THE TELEPHONE.?
Well facts have proven that Bell did not invent the telephone ,it was actually ANTONIO MEUCCI ,a impoverished immigrant in America 1835, when Meucci's wife became paralysed in the 1850s he rigged a system that was linked to her bedroom to his works so he could keep in touch with her,, at this time Graham Bell was working with Meucci in the same workshop , now Meucci held a public demonstration of the invention in New York in 1860, but was unable to afford the 250 DOLLARS for a patent , but in 1871 he filed a one-year renewable notice of an impending patent , but he ran out of funds to renew it , now in 1876, Graham Bell who access to his work filed a patent for the telephone ,became a celebrity and won a luccrative deal with Western Union Communications Company, our dear old Meucci sued and was nearing victory when he died in 1889, the legal action died with him but in June 2003 113 years after his death the US CONGRESS finnally recognised Meucci as the father of communications yes truth always prevail ,,
**********************************************************************
NO, 89, WERE THE ROMAN GALLEYS WARSHIPS ROWED BY SLAVES,
No the Roman ships were all rowed by paid rowers , as this was a highly skilled job, and the rowers were paid top wages this myth of slaves rowing the warships if they were slaves they would all want to be taken prisoner as they would be set free , so thats another myth gone out the window it was also said about the Egyptians who built the Pyramids with slaves thats another myth these men who built the Pyramids were very highly shilled people and they were given houses ,food, shelter, and medical care , by the Pharaoh's while they worked remember a slave is not going to work like a freeman and being paid were's a slave has nothing to loose so he goes slow but people who employed slaves thought they were just lazey if you were a slave would you pull your weight not on your nelly ,
********************************************************************
NO , 90, DID PIRATES REALLY MAKE PRISONERS WALK THE PLANK,,
This is another Hollywood bit of hype and a myth , it just makes good pictures , that all , and give people a bit of tension in their seats, but they did torture them to extract information , why make them walk the plank when all they had to do was just throw them over broad , as history books have proved there is no evidence of anyone having to walk the plank at any time, as they say just heave them overbroad for sharkbait, thats another myth gone for a burton but it makes good viewing on the screen , isn't it nice to find out the real truth ,
********************************************************************
NO, 91, RICHARD 111, WAS HE REALLY A HUNCHBACK.
History books and records show that there is no evidence that this is true, as he was highly skilled at jousting and a real strong man if he the disability of a hunchback and a withered arm , he could not have done that, it was fabricated by the Tudor historians decades after his death in order to discredit him , in those days physical abnormality was seen as evidence of an evil nature , and now in year 2007 whats changed ,people still lies to suite them selves what we now call cover ups but in the end truth does come out ,,
*******************************************************************
NO, 92, IS IT TRUE THAT THE PHILLSTINES WERE UNCULTURED.
The truth is they were not , history has proven that they were a highly civilised people of their time ,very successful merchants , skilled at making pottery, making metal tools, and architecs, plus town planers, they went on to become a great trading force and powerful industrial nation ,just because they had an enmity with the Hebrews ,or a war if you like , they got a very bad press in the BIBLE ,people still today call others philistines,meening they are ignorant, unrefined, and tasteless,it just goes to show how things in this life get twisted, in fact the Hebrews, were to more to blame as they invaded their country, and took it away from them, the BIBLE is all full of myths and fables, truth in the end comes out ,.
********************************************************************
NO, 93, LEMMINGS DO THEY REALLY COMMIT SUICIDE.
There goes another myth, , no Lemmings do not committ suicide, it's a great con, it was our dear old Walt Disney, said that in one of his films ,they staged this in Canada, and tame lemmings were pushed over a prop cliff into a river there is no scientific evidence that these animals ever committed suicide, in Norway, ,the film was made in 1958, by Walt Disney called ,WHITE WILDERNESS, it was cemented in the popular imagination ,that this is what they did ,the film-makes contrived the scene of lemmings jumping over the cliff in Norway, so how many more little porkies are there out there, and old wives tails as well ,
*******************************************************************
NO, 94, DOES LIGHTNING STRIKE THE SAME PLACE TWICE.
It's a very old saying (lightning never strikes the same place twice, ) well it's an old wives tale another myth, ,lightning does strike the same place twice and more times, it strikes mountains tops in the same place, high trees, tall buildings, and of cause lightning conductors, thats what they are for on chruches, thats another myth gone for a burton ,and out the window .
*****************************************************************
NO, 95, IS IT TRUE YOUR HAIR GROWS, AFTER DEATH AND YOUR NAILS.
The short answer is no they don't it's another myth, what really happensa is the body rapidly dehydrates ,the skin retracks exposing more nail and hair , it's a bit morbid , but fact is fact so thats another you can tell your grandmother..
******************************************************************
NO, 96 , THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ,IS THERE ONE.
A straight answer no there's not a dark sideto the moon , the same as the earth there's no dark side only the SUN is not shineing on it or the moon ,well it's like this the moon we see full every month ,and it shines bright ,but the far side of the moon is now dark ,but as the moon as we say wains away ,the back of the moon becomes bright ,and as passes around ,we say look new moon turn your money over for luck, the same at night on earth , when it gets dark the other half of earth is in bright sunlight , so there's no dark side the moon or earth, another old wives tale that grandma told us ,these are gems of myths .
*******************************************************************
NO, 97. GIFT HORSE.
Why do we always say ,never look a gift horse in the mouth, well in the old days , it was usual to give a friend a horse for his or her birthday ,but it was a horse that was usualy past it's sell by date, You can tell the age of a horse by looking in it's mouth till the person has gone ,so hence never look a gift horse in the mouth,
*******************************************************************
NO, 98. WHAT DOES THE WORD DIDDECOY MEEN AND WHO DO THAT REFER TOO.
The word diddecoy is a term for rogues ,and Vagabonds, that roam the country side ,nothing to do with Gypsy or Romany ,it sometimes reffer to a half bread, as well but the Romany , and Gypsy ,have a language of their own ,it could come from the Romany term of DIKAKAI, meaning look there ,in the FENS the none Gipsy people , are called diddecoys, as they roam from Farm to Farm looking for work , such as potatoe picking, and fruit picking, beet singlering , but that now has all gone as machininery has taken over , so the Van Dwellers ,or Diddecoys are all gone ,and most are settled on permanate sites now ,
*******************************************************************
NO, 99, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
The commandment ,thou shall not kill , that has been wrongly translated, it should be, Thou shall not murder, which is a lot different to kill , you only kill in war, but you could murder someone over a dispute, or your wife , the Hebrew word to kill is not used anywhere in the Bible (Taharogh), but the Hebrew word (ratsahh, ) meaning dash to pieces, is used but and it denotes either manslaughter or murder, the accidental ot wilful taking of a life, so another miss enturpreded part of the bible gone up the swaney,river, think about it you only kill the enemy at war, then you are under orders, to do so , but to murder, is something you do by your self , much different, thats another myth gone out the window .
********************************************************************
NO, 100, RHYMING COCKNEY SLANG,
Adam and Eve .................Believe.
Abergavenny....................Penny.
Airs and Graces................Faces..Braces...Epson Races.
Alligater..........................Later.
Almond Rocks..................Socks...Darn me Almonds.
Alphonse........................Ponce.
Andy Cain.......................Rain.
Apenny Dip.....................Ship.
Apple Fritter...................Bitter.
Apples and Pairs.............Stairs.
April Fools ....................Stools.
April Showers.................Flowers.
Aristotle........................Bottle.
Army and Navy...............Gravy.
Artful Dodger..................Lodger.
Auntie Ella......................Umbrella.
Auntie Nellie..................Belly
Babbling Brook...............Cook...Crook.
Bacon and Eggs...............Legs.
Ball and Chalk.................Walk.
Balloon Car ....................Saloon Bar.
Band of Hope..................Soap.
Barnaby Rudge................Judge.
Barnet Fair......................Hair.
Bat and Wicket................Ticket.
Bath Bun........................Sun..Son.
Battle - Cruiser...............Boozer.
Bears Paw......................Saw.
Bees and Honey..............Money.
Bird Lime.......................Time.
Biscuits and Cheese.........Knees.
***************************************************************
NO, 101. DO AS THE ROMANS DO IN ROME.
Where did this saying start,do as the Romans do , well it all started with Monica the mother of Augustine of HIPPO, she was widowed in the 4th century her son then was 18, and tried to bring him up as a Christian, but he went off to Rome , but she his mother followed him and she got Ambrose the Bishop of Milan to baptise him, Monica , his mother and Augustine asked ,why do they fast in Rome on SATURDAYS ,and in Milan they don't so the Bishop Ambrose said ,said when I am in Milan I do as they do ,and when in Rome I do as they do ,so now you know where it all started 400 AD. Augustine and his Mother Monica, and Bishop Ambrose, another bit of useless inforemation ,
******************************************************************
NO, 102. BEARSKINS AS HEAD GEAR WHEN DID IT START.
Well it all started in about 1815, Battle of Waterloo , well it started in 1680s for head gear of alsorts, French started with the Mitre cap ,that over the years ,the British did the same , the Mitre cap became taller and this made the Grenadiers look taller , for them to stand out among other soldiers ,then latter the French and Indian war of North America, were inspired by the plentiful of BEAR PELTS and the Frontiersmen dressed in furs and in 1760, Bearskin caps were the norm for French and British Grenadiers, now at Waterloo, the French, Imperial Guard of Napoleons personal footguards, they wore Bears skin caps ,and our Grenadiers defeated them ,and then were given the right to wear the Bearskins as today as an honour to their victory over the French another bit of useless imformation.
******************************************************************
NO, 103, WHEN DID SKATING START IN ENGLAND.
Well it really started by the Dutch Engineer Vermuyden, who came to drain the FENS,well in 1650s time of Oliver Cromwell , the contrution of draining the Fens was a major project so workers had to be got there to work , thats how the skates were envented by cutting old horse shoes in half and then straighten them but it left a turn up at the toes end, then they were fixed to their boots or shoes and then skate to work down the frozen rivers or dykes , and Vermuden called them FEN RUNNERS , and the name stuck from then on the scates were named Fen Runners the winters at that time were very cold and everything froze so the Village of Welney started a race chamionship , for speed raceing on ice 1650s now the last campionship race was in 1996-1997 it's not cold enough since then and also Charles 11 introduced it to the aristocracy about 1660 time in hide park , but the DUTCH people in Holland were useing animal bones long before then to skate on,.
******************************************************************
NO, 104. CATS EYE'S WHO INVENTED THEM.
Way back in 1933, a Blacksmith in Halifax was driving home when he hit a periless stretch of road with a sheer drop to one side , no street lights in those days and no road markings ,well he was driving very steady in the fog picking his way home ,and out of the noght cametwo refecting eye's of a cat sitting beside the road ,this BLACKSMITH ,, Percy Shaw, then had a flash of inspiration , which came the greatest contribution to road safety of all times in 1934, he patents the cats eye's and made cast iron caseings and inserted a rubber mould with two two reflecting glass beads either way , and the rain water would keep them clean , sales were slow at first ,till the WW2 and after the war in 1947 , a young junior transport Minister, JIM CALLAGHAN , ordered them nation wide ,now Shaws Company Reflecting Roadstuds LTD made millions of them and he became a millionaire , but never lived in luxurie, no curtains or carpets except for two ROLLS ROYCES and a cellar full of Worthingtons India Pale Ale and thats one of britains great inventions .
*******************************************************************
NO, 105, CAN YOU GET PILES FROM SITTING ON COLD SEATS.
Well can you get piles from sitting on cold seats , well the true answer is no you can't get piles from sitting on cold seats , you get piles from constipation, or troubles with the boules, old wives tales the other, , now you know ,
*****************************************************************
NO, 106, DID YOU KNOW THESE LOVELY LITTLE DITTIES ,
Palindromes the words that can be read from left to right either way .
Racercar, Kayak, Level ,
*****************************************************************
English words end in dous,
Tremendous, Horrendous, Stupendous, Hazardous,,
*****************************************************************
Goldfish has a memory of about three seconds, ( some days thats about my memory,
*****************************************************************
What is a Jiffy it is actual a unit of time , 1/100th of a second it's gone .
*****************************************************************
A Snail can sleep for three years ,( I know some people like that,
********************************************************************
An Ostrichs eye is bigger than it's brain ,( I know some people like that as well.
*******************************************************************
In the last 4,000 years no new animals have been Domesticated, (how about men)
******************************************************************
LEONARDO, DA VINCI, invented the scissors, (but could he cut hair,
******************************************************************
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated and who wants to refrigerate a rubber band.
********************************************************************
The QE2 Liner moves only six inches for one gallon of Diesel that it burns,
*******************************************************************
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely over,
******************************************************************
If the population of China started to walk past you 8 abreast the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction , hell they work fast, at sex at night ,
*******************************************************************
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite, yes after eating peanuts I feel like exploding .
*******************************************************************
The Microwave was invented after a reseacher walked past a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket he was lucky it didn't melt anything else.
********************************************************************
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance, any port in a storm was he smoking a cigar on arrival.
*********************************************************************
Women blink nearly twice as much as men it's the mascara that gets stuck.
*********************************************************************
NO, 107. WIT AND WISDOM INSIDE NO 10 .
Benjamin Disraeli , ( con) 1868-1880.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.never complain and never explain,
**********************
Gladstone once said to DISRAELI, I predict Sir that you will either die by hanging or some vile disease ,Disraeli replied ,Sir upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress,
The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this , if Gladstone fell into the Thames it would be a misfortune, but if someone dragged him out again it would be a calamity.
On his daeth bed , he was told that Queen Victoria wished to visit him , no it's better she didn't as she will only ask me to take a message to Albert,.
There are three kinds of lies ;;lies ,damn lies, and statistics.
**********************
LLOYED GEORGE ( Liberal) 1916-1922.
Talking about the House of Lords, a body of 500 men choosen at random from amongst the unemployed,
Count not my broken pledges as a crime, I meant them ,how I meant them at the time,
He once tried attempt to negotiate with Irish President Eamon De Valera, he said it was like trying to pick up mercury with a fork.
**********************
BONAR LAW,(CON) 1922-1923
Talking about Churchill ,I think he has a very unusual intellectual ability but at the same time he seems to have an entirely unbalanced mind which is a real danger.
********
CHURCHILL, (CON) 1940-1945 AND 1951-1955.
He said history will be kind to him as he intend to write it.
I like Pigs, Dogs look up to us, Cats look down on us , Pigs treat us as equals..
The Americans will always do the right thing after theyve exausted all the other alternatives,
I am ready to meet my maker -- but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
He once said during the war I consumed German Wine but I excused myself that I was not drinking it but inturning it.
On General MONTGOMERY ,in defeat unbeatable , in Victory unbearable.
Churchill talking to the King, the King asked what do you think will happen to Mony after the war ,Churchill replied I think he might be after my job, the King replied thank GOD I thought he might want my job..
Lady Nacy Astor was having a few cross words with Churchill , she sid if I was your wife I would poison your coffee, Nancy, he said if you were my wife I would drink it.
Lady Nancy Astor , said to Churchill ,you are drunk, Churchill said yes I know ,and you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning.
CHURCHILL quoted in saying ,a politician requires the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week , next month, and next year, and to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen .
The best argument against demorcracy is a five -minute conversation with the average voter.
Men occasionally stumble over the truth but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older it will avoid you.
***************************
HAROLD MACMILLAN (CON) 1957- 1963.
Tradition does not mean that the living are dead, it means that the dead are living.
As usual ,the LIBERALS offer a mixture of sound and original ideas, unfortunately none of the sound ideas is original and none of the original ideas is sound .
RE;; the Profumo affair involving Cristine Keeler, and Mandy Rice - Davies, I was determined that no British government should be brought down by two tarts,
On President Kennedy, he spends half his time thinking about adultery and the other half on second hand ideas passed on by his advisers,
It is said that there is no fool like an old fool , except a young fool but the young fool has to grow up to an old fool to realise what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool .
Macmillan on Harold Wilson ,he said in his child hood he had no boots to go to school well if he had no boots to go school that was because he was too big for them.
****************************
HAROLD WILSON(LABOUR) 1964-1970 AND 1974-1976.
What ever party is in office, the treasury is in power.
I am an optimist but I am an opimist who carries a raincoat.
On TONY BENN,I have always said about Tony that he immatures with age.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.
*******************************
EDWARD HEATH, (CON) 1970-1974'
I have no interest in sailing round the world ,not that there is any lack of requests for me to do so.
A photo call with Baroness Thatcher, she said that I should be on her right ,I REPLIED THAT THIS WOULD BE DIFFICULT.
***************************************************************
NO, 108, HUMPTY DUMPTY, THE TRUE STORY, OF WHAT HAPPENED,
HUMPTY DUMPTY, sat on a wall ,and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall all the Kings horses and all the Kings men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
Well for a start Humpty Dumpty was not an egg, as you were told at school ,this all happened in the Civil War 1642-1651,the Kings men were lead by Sir Charles Lucas, and Sir George Lisle, in a strong hold at Colchester,early 1648, they grimly held their strong hold against the Parliamentarians led by Thomas Fairfax, who encircled the town and besiaged the strong hold the supporters of the King nearly won the day as a Gun named Humpty Dumpty was in possition in the Church Tower a prime position but the Parliamentarians and the Round Head troops attacted and blew the tower and Humpty Dumpty came tumberling down and smashed up that it was useless to try and repair the Gun so poor old Humpty Dumpty could not be put together again thats the true story,
*******************************************************************
NO, 109, HALLOWEEN HOW DID IT ALL START, WELL IT WAS NOT THE ????????
For the truth how Halloween started it was not the Americans as people seem to think,the old saying oh it's all American, well no it's not ,it all started in Ireland in the great potatoe famine of 1846-1850 it started with what they called JACK-O-LANTERN. the Celtics and an ancient RELIGION that was in Ireland at the time they used to hollow out turnips and swedes ,cut in slots then put a candle in side them to keep away evil spirits, to do with the potatoe blight of that time ,millions starved to death and the ones that had land to sell did so and bought passiages to America, a few million went there too and they took their Celtic beleaves with them, but at that time there was no turnips or swedes in America, so they came across the Pumpkin which was plenty full out there so the truth is the Irish took it to America in the time of the potatoe famine and the Jack-O Lantern to keep away evil spirits it's now a harmless bit of fun, and the children love dressing up to scare people with trick or treat, when the Irish did this in the begining was to dress up in goulish cloths to make beleave that they were trying to get back to their own houses where they first lived then as the famine got worse soup kitchens were started by the Prosidents as the Catholics did nothing to help the poor and staving but the Proidents would only serve the people that signed up to be Prosidents from the Catholic faith, so they were discrimanated against and called soupies that started the devide in Ireland then on to the Civil war and thats the true story of HALLOWEEN not American but Irish started it .
*******************************************************************
NO 110. SOME OF THE GREAT QUOTES,
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT,
I had a ROSE named after me that was very flattering ,but not very pleased with the description in the Catalog, No good in a bed but fine against the wall.
George Burns ,
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and to have the two as close together as possible.
VICTOR BORGE,
Santa Claus has the right idea visit people only once a year.
JIMMY DURANTE.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech every now and then she stops to breathe.
ZSA ZSA GABOR.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
SPIKE MILLIGAN.
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
JOE NAMATH.
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was SHUT UP.
BOB HOPE .
I don't feel anything until noon then it's time for a nap.
W.C. FIELDS.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fich do in it.
PHYLLIS DILLER.
Matbe it's true that life begins at fifty,, but everything else starts to wear out fall out or spread out.
****************************
MAJOR GENERAL PETER COSGROVE, ;;; THE AUSTRALIAN TREASURE..;
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.;
Female Interviewer,,
So GENERAL COSGROVE,, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base.
Gen Cosgrove,
We're going to teach them climbing , canoeing , archery, and shooting.
Female Interviewer
Shooting ! that's a bit irresponsible ,isn't it???
Gen Cosgrove,
I don't see why , they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
Female Interviewer.
Don't you admit that is a terrible dangerous activity to be teaching children???
GEN Cosgrove,,
I don't see how ,we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
Female Inerterviewer,
But you're equipping them to become violent killers..
Gen Cosgrove,,
Well Ma'am you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one are you ..
The radio went silent and the interview ended,.,
*******************************************************************
NO 111. PIRANHAS A FISH THAT EATS YOU, TRUTH OR MYTH.
Well Piranhas of the Amazon river , are not man eaters they only eat other fish and shrimps yes they do bite but it's only a nip and they swim in large schools thats only to defend them selves against natural preddators such as river Dolphins and thats all really the myth of stripping you to the bone well forget it ,as it does not happen.
*******************************************************************
NO 112, YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING.
The liquid inside a young coconut can be used for a substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping .
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years old, or older.
Who was the first to have bar codes ,it was Wrigley 's Gum.
American Airlines saved $ 40,000 in 1987, by taking off one Olive from each dinner served on first class travel on planes.
Apples not caffeine are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust perticles in the house are from dead skin of the body.
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer so did the first Marlboro man'
Pearls melt in Vinegar.
It is possible to lead a Cow upstairs but not downstairs .
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Turties can breath through their rear ends.
********************************************************************
NO 113. HERE ARE SOME GREAT WAYS OF DEALING WITH THE BURDENS OF LIFE.;
NO, 1 Just accept that ,some days you're the pigeon and ,some days ,you're the statue.
NO, 2 Always keep your words soft and sweet,, just in case you have to eat them later ,
NO, 3 , Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it ..
NO, 4 , Drive carefully ,It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker..
NO, 5 , If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
NO, 6 , If you lend someone £ 20 and never see that person again , it was probably worth it .
NO , 7 . It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
NO, 8 , Never put both feet in your at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on .
NO, 9 , Nobody cares if you can't dance well , just get up and dance.
NO, 10, Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird , sleep late .
NO, 11, The second mouse always get the cheese,
NO, 12, When everything's coming your way ,you're in the wrong lane.
NO, 13, Birthdays are good for you ,the more you have ,the longer you live.
NO, 14, You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
NO, 15, Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
NO, 16, We could learn a lot from crayons,, some are sharp; some are pretty; and some are dull, some have weird names; and all are different colours; but they all have to live in the same box.
NO, 17, A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour,.
NO, 18, Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today ,,, I DID ,
***********************************************
Ducking stools were first used in the 17th century ,as a punishment for women ,who talked too much, nagging wives, witches, and prostitutes, the stool were like an armchair fastened to a wooden beam fixed like a see-saw, on the edge of a river or pond, it had an iron bar across it to stop them falling out. Then the chair was plunged under the water and it was the duty of the magistrates to order the number of duckings that the woman should have, these were used up to the begining of the 19th century, yes I could name a few people who need it now not only women but a few men as well it might curb their radical tougues a bit and see this country for what it is ,and not slag it off.
**********************************************************************
NO 85. SANTA CLAUS, WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF THIS MAN.
Well this jolly gentleman, it all started in the 4th -5th century A.D. by the name of ST NICHOLAS, the patron saint of school children ,and sailors, little is known about his life it is said he was the Bishop of Myra in Lycia (asia minor) it is known that he saved three Army Officers from death, then in the 17th century the Dutch PROTESTANT settlers in New Amsterdam, now New York replaced ST Nicholas with Sinter Claes, then called Santa Claus, this spread through many counties in Europe, this is where his name changed again to Father Christmas as he was to on the 25th December or New years day ,, it looks as if this bit of little madjic for the young children will soon die out as the Doo Gooders, are scare mougers of todays world will kill it off as no child is aloud to touch father Christmas anymore or Father Christmas touching them , just because some stupid clot says he might be a child molester , what a load of crap the parents are always there, and if it's in a school the Teachers are there, this ENGLISH nation of ours has become a nation of hype through the media of the press and T.V.
********************************************************************
NO, 86, WHO FIRST USED CLOCKS ,TO TELL THE TIME.
It is believed to be the Babylonians , a type of Sun DIAL ,it was a pole fixed in the ground and the shadow changed during the hours of sunlight ,marks were then put on the ground ,but the Egyptians made sundials on metal plates ,and also a clepsdra or water clock, it was a basin type vessel with a hole in the bottom as the water dripped out lines were in the other vessel that told the time . Monks used clocks operated by wheels and weights ,they were found in monasteries in the 14th century , the first spring driven clock was in the 1500s and so on todays clocks that are set by satellite and accurid to the second ,people are still late for appointments ,why ,well i think it's human nature ,they all think OH I have got time to get there ,but no one expect to be helled up by something thats happened on the road they are about to travel, but time from one side of the country to the other could be different as in ENGLAND if was say 12-00 am noon in London it could be 11-00 am in say Birmingham, ,why because of the slow travel at that time ,horse and carridge , and not until we got the Railways that all changed as the Railways had to run on time so all clocks were set then to grenage meen time , it was the railways that changed our way of life with the clocks. late 1800s EARLY 1900S SO THERE YOU HAVE IT ,
**********************************************************************
NO 87, QUEEN BOUDICA , DID SHE HAVE SCYTHES FITTED TO HER CHARIOT.
Well I can tell you now that it is all untrue of this Queen of the Anglians, it was all made up by the Victorians ,to put her on a higher pedstral, she never had scythes fitted to her chariot as you will see why , the Persians were the first to try it on Alexander the Great, but found them difficult to drive, and the myth about having their legs cut off was too all a myth , more soldiers were killed cby chariot horses, by being trampled to death or run over by the chariot wheels. let truth prevails,
********************************************************************
NO, 88, DID ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL, REALLY INVENT THE TELEPHONE.?
Well facts have proven that Bell did not invent the telephone ,it was actually ANTONIO MEUCCI ,a impoverished immigrant in America 1835, when Meucci's wife became paralysed in the 1850s he rigged a system that was linked to her bedroom to his works so he could keep in touch with her,, at this time Graham Bell was working with Meucci in the same workshop , now Meucci held a public demonstration of the invention in New York in 1860, but was unable to afford the 250 DOLLARS for a patent , but in 1871 he filed a one-year renewable notice of an impending patent , but he ran out of funds to renew it , now in 1876, Graham Bell who access to his work filed a patent for the telephone ,became a celebrity and won a luccrative deal with Western Union Communications Company, our dear old Meucci sued and was nearing victory when he died in 1889, the legal action died with him but in June 2003 113 years after his death the US CONGRESS finnally recognised Meucci as the father of communications yes truth always prevail ,,
**********************************************************************
NO, 89, WERE THE ROMAN GALLEYS WARSHIPS ROWED BY SLAVES,
No the Roman ships were all rowed by paid rowers , as this was a highly skilled job, and the rowers were paid top wages this myth of slaves rowing the warships if they were slaves they would all want to be taken prisoner as they would be set free , so thats another myth gone out the window it was also said about the Egyptians who built the Pyramids with slaves thats another myth these men who built the Pyramids were very highly shilled people and they were given houses ,food, shelter, and medical care , by the Pharaoh's while they worked remember a slave is not going to work like a freeman and being paid were's a slave has nothing to loose so he goes slow but people who employed slaves thought they were just lazey if you were a slave would you pull your weight not on your nelly ,
********************************************************************
NO , 90, DID PIRATES REALLY MAKE PRISONERS WALK THE PLANK,,
This is another Hollywood bit of hype and a myth , it just makes good pictures , that all , and give people a bit of tension in their seats, but they did torture them to extract information , why make them walk the plank when all they had to do was just throw them over broad , as history books have proved there is no evidence of anyone having to walk the plank at any time, as they say just heave them overbroad for sharkbait, thats another myth gone for a burton but it makes good viewing on the screen , isn't it nice to find out the real truth ,
********************************************************************
NO, 91, RICHARD 111, WAS HE REALLY A HUNCHBACK.
History books and records show that there is no evidence that this is true, as he was highly skilled at jousting and a real strong man if he the disability of a hunchback and a withered arm , he could not have done that, it was fabricated by the Tudor historians decades after his death in order to discredit him , in those days physical abnormality was seen as evidence of an evil nature , and now in year 2007 whats changed ,people still lies to suite them selves what we now call cover ups but in the end truth does come out ,,
*******************************************************************
NO, 92, IS IT TRUE THAT THE PHILLSTINES WERE UNCULTURED.
The truth is they were not , history has proven that they were a highly civilised people of their time ,very successful merchants , skilled at making pottery, making metal tools, and architecs, plus town planers, they went on to become a great trading force and powerful industrial nation ,just because they had an enmity with the Hebrews ,or a war if you like , they got a very bad press in the BIBLE ,people still today call others philistines,meening they are ignorant, unrefined, and tasteless,it just goes to show how things in this life get twisted, in fact the Hebrews, were to more to blame as they invaded their country, and took it away from them, the BIBLE is all full of myths and fables, truth in the end comes out ,.
********************************************************************
NO, 93, LEMMINGS DO THEY REALLY COMMIT SUICIDE.
There goes another myth, , no Lemmings do not committ suicide, it's a great con, it was our dear old Walt Disney, said that in one of his films ,they staged this in Canada, and tame lemmings were pushed over a prop cliff into a river there is no scientific evidence that these animals ever committed suicide, in Norway, ,the film was made in 1958, by Walt Disney called ,WHITE WILDERNESS, it was cemented in the popular imagination ,that this is what they did ,the film-makes contrived the scene of lemmings jumping over the cliff in Norway, so how many more little porkies are there out there, and old wives tails as well ,
*******************************************************************
NO, 94, DOES LIGHTNING STRIKE THE SAME PLACE TWICE.
It's a very old saying (lightning never strikes the same place twice, ) well it's an old wives tale another myth, ,lightning does strike the same place twice and more times, it strikes mountains tops in the same place, high trees, tall buildings, and of cause lightning conductors, thats what they are for on chruches, thats another myth gone for a burton ,and out the window .
*****************************************************************
NO, 95, IS IT TRUE YOUR HAIR GROWS, AFTER DEATH AND YOUR NAILS.
The short answer is no they don't it's another myth, what really happensa is the body rapidly dehydrates ,the skin retracks exposing more nail and hair , it's a bit morbid , but fact is fact so thats another you can tell your grandmother..
******************************************************************
NO, 96 , THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ,IS THERE ONE.
A straight answer no there's not a dark sideto the moon , the same as the earth there's no dark side only the SUN is not shineing on it or the moon ,well it's like this the moon we see full every month ,and it shines bright ,but the far side of the moon is now dark ,but as the moon as we say wains away ,the back of the moon becomes bright ,and as passes around ,we say look new moon turn your money over for luck, the same at night on earth , when it gets dark the other half of earth is in bright sunlight , so there's no dark side the moon or earth, another old wives tale that grandma told us ,these are gems of myths .
*******************************************************************
NO, 97. GIFT HORSE.
Why do we always say ,never look a gift horse in the mouth, well in the old days , it was usual to give a friend a horse for his or her birthday ,but it was a horse that was usualy past it's sell by date, You can tell the age of a horse by looking in it's mouth till the person has gone ,so hence never look a gift horse in the mouth,
*******************************************************************
NO, 98. WHAT DOES THE WORD DIDDECOY MEEN AND WHO DO THAT REFER TOO.
The word diddecoy is a term for rogues ,and Vagabonds, that roam the country side ,nothing to do with Gypsy or Romany ,it sometimes reffer to a half bread, as well but the Romany , and Gypsy ,have a language of their own ,it could come from the Romany term of DIKAKAI, meaning look there ,in the FENS the none Gipsy people , are called diddecoys, as they roam from Farm to Farm looking for work , such as potatoe picking, and fruit picking, beet singlering , but that now has all gone as machininery has taken over , so the Van Dwellers ,or Diddecoys are all gone ,and most are settled on permanate sites now ,
*******************************************************************
NO, 99, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
The commandment ,thou shall not kill , that has been wrongly translated, it should be, Thou shall not murder, which is a lot different to kill , you only kill in war, but you could murder someone over a dispute, or your wife , the Hebrew word to kill is not used anywhere in the Bible (Taharogh), but the Hebrew word (ratsahh, ) meaning dash to pieces, is used but and it denotes either manslaughter or murder, the accidental ot wilful taking of a life, so another miss enturpreded part of the bible gone up the swaney,river, think about it you only kill the enemy at war, then you are under orders, to do so , but to murder, is something you do by your self , much different, thats another myth gone out the window .
********************************************************************
NO, 100, RHYMING COCKNEY SLANG,
Adam and Eve .................Believe.
Abergavenny....................Penny.
Airs and Graces................Faces..Braces...Epson Races.
Alligater..........................Later.
Almond Rocks..................Socks...Darn me Almonds.
Alphonse........................Ponce.
Andy Cain.......................Rain.
Apenny Dip.....................Ship.
Apple Fritter...................Bitter.
Apples and Pairs.............Stairs.
April Fools ....................Stools.
April Showers.................Flowers.
Aristotle........................Bottle.
Army and Navy...............Gravy.
Artful Dodger..................Lodger.
Auntie Ella......................Umbrella.
Auntie Nellie..................Belly
Babbling Brook...............Cook...Crook.
Bacon and Eggs...............Legs.
Ball and Chalk.................Walk.
Balloon Car ....................Saloon Bar.
Band of Hope..................Soap.
Barnaby Rudge................Judge.
Barnet Fair......................Hair.
Bat and Wicket................Ticket.
Bath Bun........................Sun..Son.
Battle - Cruiser...............Boozer.
Bears Paw......................Saw.
Bees and Honey..............Money.
Bird Lime.......................Time.
Biscuits and Cheese.........Knees.
***************************************************************
NO, 101. DO AS THE ROMANS DO IN ROME.
Where did this saying start,do as the Romans do , well it all started with Monica the mother of Augustine of HIPPO, she was widowed in the 4th century her son then was 18, and tried to bring him up as a Christian, but he went off to Rome , but she his mother followed him and she got Ambrose the Bishop of Milan to baptise him, Monica , his mother and Augustine asked ,why do they fast in Rome on SATURDAYS ,and in Milan they don't so the Bishop Ambrose said ,said when I am in Milan I do as they do ,and when in Rome I do as they do ,so now you know where it all started 400 AD. Augustine and his Mother Monica, and Bishop Ambrose, another bit of useless inforemation ,
******************************************************************
NO, 102. BEARSKINS AS HEAD GEAR WHEN DID IT START.
Well it all started in about 1815, Battle of Waterloo , well it started in 1680s for head gear of alsorts, French started with the Mitre cap ,that over the years ,the British did the same , the Mitre cap became taller and this made the Grenadiers look taller , for them to stand out among other soldiers ,then latter the French and Indian war of North America, were inspired by the plentiful of BEAR PELTS and the Frontiersmen dressed in furs and in 1760, Bearskin caps were the norm for French and British Grenadiers, now at Waterloo, the French, Imperial Guard of Napoleons personal footguards, they wore Bears skin caps ,and our Grenadiers defeated them ,and then were given the right to wear the Bearskins as today as an honour to their victory over the French another bit of useless imformation.
******************************************************************
NO, 103, WHEN DID SKATING START IN ENGLAND.
Well it really started by the Dutch Engineer Vermuyden, who came to drain the FENS,well in 1650s time of Oliver Cromwell , the contrution of draining the Fens was a major project so workers had to be got there to work , thats how the skates were envented by cutting old horse shoes in half and then straighten them but it left a turn up at the toes end, then they were fixed to their boots or shoes and then skate to work down the frozen rivers or dykes , and Vermuden called them FEN RUNNERS , and the name stuck from then on the scates were named Fen Runners the winters at that time were very cold and everything froze so the Village of Welney started a race chamionship , for speed raceing on ice 1650s now the last campionship race was in 1996-1997 it's not cold enough since then and also Charles 11 introduced it to the aristocracy about 1660 time in hide park , but the DUTCH people in Holland were useing animal bones long before then to skate on,.
******************************************************************
NO, 104. CATS EYE'S WHO INVENTED THEM.
Way back in 1933, a Blacksmith in Halifax was driving home when he hit a periless stretch of road with a sheer drop to one side , no street lights in those days and no road markings ,well he was driving very steady in the fog picking his way home ,and out of the noght cametwo refecting eye's of a cat sitting beside the road ,this BLACKSMITH ,, Percy Shaw, then had a flash of inspiration , which came the greatest contribution to road safety of all times in 1934, he patents the cats eye's and made cast iron caseings and inserted a rubber mould with two two reflecting glass beads either way , and the rain water would keep them clean , sales were slow at first ,till the WW2 and after the war in 1947 , a young junior transport Minister, JIM CALLAGHAN , ordered them nation wide ,now Shaws Company Reflecting Roadstuds LTD made millions of them and he became a millionaire , but never lived in luxurie, no curtains or carpets except for two ROLLS ROYCES and a cellar full of Worthingtons India Pale Ale and thats one of britains great inventions .
*******************************************************************
NO, 105, CAN YOU GET PILES FROM SITTING ON COLD SEATS.
Well can you get piles from sitting on cold seats , well the true answer is no you can't get piles from sitting on cold seats , you get piles from constipation, or troubles with the boules, old wives tales the other, , now you know ,
*****************************************************************
NO, 106, DID YOU KNOW THESE LOVELY LITTLE DITTIES ,
Palindromes the words that can be read from left to right either way .
Racercar, Kayak, Level ,
*****************************************************************
English words end in dous,
Tremendous, Horrendous, Stupendous, Hazardous,,
*****************************************************************
Goldfish has a memory of about three seconds, ( some days thats about my memory,
*****************************************************************
What is a Jiffy it is actual a unit of time , 1/100th of a second it's gone .
*****************************************************************
A Snail can sleep for three years ,( I know some people like that,
********************************************************************
An Ostrichs eye is bigger than it's brain ,( I know some people like that as well.
*******************************************************************
In the last 4,000 years no new animals have been Domesticated, (how about men)
******************************************************************
LEONARDO, DA VINCI, invented the scissors, (but could he cut hair,
******************************************************************
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated and who wants to refrigerate a rubber band.
********************************************************************
The QE2 Liner moves only six inches for one gallon of Diesel that it burns,
*******************************************************************
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely over,
******************************************************************
If the population of China started to walk past you 8 abreast the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction , hell they work fast, at sex at night ,
*******************************************************************
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite, yes after eating peanuts I feel like exploding .
*******************************************************************
The Microwave was invented after a reseacher walked past a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket he was lucky it didn't melt anything else.
********************************************************************
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance, any port in a storm was he smoking a cigar on arrival.
*********************************************************************
Women blink nearly twice as much as men it's the mascara that gets stuck.
*********************************************************************
NO, 107. WIT AND WISDOM INSIDE NO 10 .
Benjamin Disraeli , ( con) 1868-1880.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.never complain and never explain,
**********************
Gladstone once said to DISRAELI, I predict Sir that you will either die by hanging or some vile disease ,Disraeli replied ,Sir upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress,
The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this , if Gladstone fell into the Thames it would be a misfortune, but if someone dragged him out again it would be a calamity.
On his daeth bed , he was told that Queen Victoria wished to visit him , no it's better she didn't as she will only ask me to take a message to Albert,.
There are three kinds of lies ;;lies ,damn lies, and statistics.
**********************
LLOYED GEORGE ( Liberal) 1916-1922.
Talking about the House of Lords, a body of 500 men choosen at random from amongst the unemployed,
Count not my broken pledges as a crime, I meant them ,how I meant them at the time,
He once tried attempt to negotiate with Irish President Eamon De Valera, he said it was like trying to pick up mercury with a fork.
**********************
BONAR LAW,(CON) 1922-1923
Talking about Churchill ,I think he has a very unusual intellectual ability but at the same time he seems to have an entirely unbalanced mind which is a real danger.
********
CHURCHILL, (CON) 1940-1945 AND 1951-1955.
He said history will be kind to him as he intend to write it.
I like Pigs, Dogs look up to us, Cats look down on us , Pigs treat us as equals..
The Americans will always do the right thing after theyve exausted all the other alternatives,
I am ready to meet my maker -- but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
He once said during the war I consumed German Wine but I excused myself that I was not drinking it but inturning it.
On General MONTGOMERY ,in defeat unbeatable , in Victory unbearable.
Churchill talking to the King, the King asked what do you think will happen to Mony after the war ,Churchill replied I think he might be after my job, the King replied thank GOD I thought he might want my job..
Lady Nacy Astor was having a few cross words with Churchill , she sid if I was your wife I would poison your coffee, Nancy, he said if you were my wife I would drink it.
Lady Nancy Astor , said to Churchill ,you are drunk, Churchill said yes I know ,and you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning.
CHURCHILL quoted in saying ,a politician requires the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week , next month, and next year, and to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen .
The best argument against demorcracy is a five -minute conversation with the average voter.
Men occasionally stumble over the truth but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older it will avoid you.
***************************
HAROLD MACMILLAN (CON) 1957- 1963.
Tradition does not mean that the living are dead, it means that the dead are living.
As usual ,the LIBERALS offer a mixture of sound and original ideas, unfortunately none of the sound ideas is original and none of the original ideas is sound .
RE;; the Profumo affair involving Cristine Keeler, and Mandy Rice - Davies, I was determined that no British government should be brought down by two tarts,
On President Kennedy, he spends half his time thinking about adultery and the other half on second hand ideas passed on by his advisers,
It is said that there is no fool like an old fool , except a young fool but the young fool has to grow up to an old fool to realise what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool .
Macmillan on Harold Wilson ,he said in his child hood he had no boots to go to school well if he had no boots to go school that was because he was too big for them.
****************************
HAROLD WILSON(LABOUR) 1964-1970 AND 1974-1976.
What ever party is in office, the treasury is in power.
I am an optimist but I am an opimist who carries a raincoat.
On TONY BENN,I have always said about Tony that he immatures with age.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you are scared to death.
*******************************
EDWARD HEATH, (CON) 1970-1974'
I have no interest in sailing round the world ,not that there is any lack of requests for me to do so.
A photo call with Baroness Thatcher, she said that I should be on her right ,I REPLIED THAT THIS WOULD BE DIFFICULT.
***************************************************************
NO, 108, HUMPTY DUMPTY, THE TRUE STORY, OF WHAT HAPPENED,
HUMPTY DUMPTY, sat on a wall ,and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall all the Kings horses and all the Kings men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
Well for a start Humpty Dumpty was not an egg, as you were told at school ,this all happened in the Civil War 1642-1651,the Kings men were lead by Sir Charles Lucas, and Sir George Lisle, in a strong hold at Colchester,early 1648, they grimly held their strong hold against the Parliamentarians led by Thomas Fairfax, who encircled the town and besiaged the strong hold the supporters of the King nearly won the day as a Gun named Humpty Dumpty was in possition in the Church Tower a prime position but the Parliamentarians and the Round Head troops attacted and blew the tower and Humpty Dumpty came tumberling down and smashed up that it was useless to try and repair the Gun so poor old Humpty Dumpty could not be put together again thats the true story,
*******************************************************************
NO, 109, HALLOWEEN HOW DID IT ALL START, WELL IT WAS NOT THE ????????
For the truth how Halloween started it was not the Americans as people seem to think,the old saying oh it's all American, well no it's not ,it all started in Ireland in the great potatoe famine of 1846-1850 it started with what they called JACK-O-LANTERN. the Celtics and an ancient RELIGION that was in Ireland at the time they used to hollow out turnips and swedes ,cut in slots then put a candle in side them to keep away evil spirits, to do with the potatoe blight of that time ,millions starved to death and the ones that had land to sell did so and bought passiages to America, a few million went there too and they took their Celtic beleaves with them, but at that time there was no turnips or swedes in America, so they came across the Pumpkin which was plenty full out there so the truth is the Irish took it to America in the time of the potatoe famine and the Jack-O Lantern to keep away evil spirits it's now a harmless bit of fun, and the children love dressing up to scare people with trick or treat, when the Irish did this in the begining was to dress up in goulish cloths to make beleave that they were trying to get back to their own houses where they first lived then as the famine got worse soup kitchens were started by the Prosidents as the Catholics did nothing to help the poor and staving but the Proidents would only serve the people that signed up to be Prosidents from the Catholic faith, so they were discrimanated against and called soupies that started the devide in Ireland then on to the Civil war and thats the true story of HALLOWEEN not American but Irish started it .
*******************************************************************
NO 110. SOME OF THE GREAT QUOTES,
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT,
I had a ROSE named after me that was very flattering ,but not very pleased with the description in the Catalog, No good in a bed but fine against the wall.
George Burns ,
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and to have the two as close together as possible.
VICTOR BORGE,
Santa Claus has the right idea visit people only once a year.
JIMMY DURANTE.
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech every now and then she stops to breathe.
ZSA ZSA GABOR.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
SPIKE MILLIGAN.
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
JOE NAMATH.
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was SHUT UP.
BOB HOPE .
I don't feel anything until noon then it's time for a nap.
W.C. FIELDS.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fich do in it.
PHYLLIS DILLER.
Matbe it's true that life begins at fifty,, but everything else starts to wear out fall out or spread out.
****************************
MAJOR GENERAL PETER COSGROVE, ;;; THE AUSTRALIAN TREASURE..;
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.;
Female Interviewer,,
So GENERAL COSGROVE,, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base.
Gen Cosgrove,
We're going to teach them climbing , canoeing , archery, and shooting.
Female Interviewer
Shooting ! that's a bit irresponsible ,isn't it???
Gen Cosgrove,
I don't see why , they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
Female Interviewer.
Don't you admit that is a terrible dangerous activity to be teaching children???
GEN Cosgrove,,
I don't see how ,we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
Female Inerterviewer,
But you're equipping them to become violent killers..
Gen Cosgrove,,
Well Ma'am you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one are you ..
The radio went silent and the interview ended,.,
*******************************************************************
NO 111. PIRANHAS A FISH THAT EATS YOU, TRUTH OR MYTH.
Well Piranhas of the Amazon river , are not man eaters they only eat other fish and shrimps yes they do bite but it's only a nip and they swim in large schools thats only to defend them selves against natural preddators such as river Dolphins and thats all really the myth of stripping you to the bone well forget it ,as it does not happen.
*******************************************************************
NO 112, YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING.
The liquid inside a young coconut can be used for a substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping .
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years old, or older.
Who was the first to have bar codes ,it was Wrigley 's Gum.
American Airlines saved $ 40,000 in 1987, by taking off one Olive from each dinner served on first class travel on planes.
Apples not caffeine are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust perticles in the house are from dead skin of the body.
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer so did the first Marlboro man'
Pearls melt in Vinegar.
It is possible to lead a Cow upstairs but not downstairs .
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
Turties can breath through their rear ends.
********************************************************************
NO 113. HERE ARE SOME GREAT WAYS OF DEALING WITH THE BURDENS OF LIFE.;
NO, 1 Just accept that ,some days you're the pigeon and ,some days ,you're the statue.
NO, 2 Always keep your words soft and sweet,, just in case you have to eat them later ,
NO, 3 , Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it ..
NO, 4 , Drive carefully ,It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker..
NO, 5 , If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
NO, 6 , If you lend someone £ 20 and never see that person again , it was probably worth it .
NO , 7 . It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
NO, 8 , Never put both feet in your at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on .
NO, 9 , Nobody cares if you can't dance well , just get up and dance.
NO, 10, Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird , sleep late .
NO, 11, The second mouse always get the cheese,
NO, 12, When everything's coming your way ,you're in the wrong lane.
NO, 13, Birthdays are good for you ,the more you have ,the longer you live.
NO, 14, You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
NO, 15, Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
NO, 16, We could learn a lot from crayons,, some are sharp; some are pretty; and some are dull, some have weird names; and all are different colours; but they all have to live in the same box.
NO, 17, A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour,.
NO, 18, Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today ,,, I DID ,
***********************************************